Monique and Andee

Three Years

2011-09-23T21:56:00.001+04:00

Three years ago I was offered a job outside the country. It was something that I had to think about. I wanted to get out of the country, I wanted a new environment. I knew then that it was a very difficult decision to make. But in a way it was also something that I had to make, something that I had to do.

One year, two, three... That was the time that I had to serve. Oh, okay I seem to be making it like a prison sentence. At first, it actually is something like that. I did not like what I was doing, I had no friends to talk to, I miss my family terribly, I missed my daughter so much.

Three years is all it takes. Close out my life here and then start anew with the one that is real. It will not be hard. That was my motto. That was the plan. I prayed for it. It was all in place. Until one day when I came back from vacation, everything seemed changed. Everything seemed different.

I had a lot to do. I had responsibilities. Now almost three years in Dubai, am I ready to go home? Am I gonna keep the promise I did to Andy and Papa? Or will I fail them altogether? But what does failing them means?

Dalangin ng Isang ina

2011-08-07T21:16:00.000+04:00

Tuwing iniisip ko na malapit na ang Oktubre
Mas lalo ako nasasabik.
Mas tumitindi ang kaba
Pero sa kabila nun
Alam ko na pagbalik ko
Andyan ka na naghihintay sa akin
Buong puso
Bukas ang mga kamay
At sasalubungin mo ako
ng matatamis mong mga ngiti.

Ang takot na nasa dibdib ko
Di ko mapaliwanag.
Pero alam ko higit sa anu pa man
Kapag nagdesisyon akong
Bumalik at makasama ka
Isang malaking hakbang yun
Para sa ating dalawa.

Hayaan mo anak
Alam kong di magiging madali
Pero alam ko rin na
Di tayo magsisisi sa huli.

Mahal na mahal kita.
Alam mong gagawin ko ang lahat
Para makita kang masaya at maayos.

Andy Time: Testing the water

2011-08-05T13:08:00.002+04:00

[Andy time]

A: Mommy, uuwi ka na ba pag natapos ang school ko?
M: Ang tagal pa nun! It will take many many years before you finish your schooling! (Mommy testing the waters)
A: Hmmm... Bakit?
M: Maybe you can come and visit mommy here.
A: No.

Toink!

Long Time and then some

2011-07-15T10:19:00.001+04:00

It's been such a long time since I have written here.
I promised myself to update this site and yet, what, promises are made to be broken, eh?
Today, I will try to update this site more often... It's Andy and my site and very soon Andy might want to write here as well.. wouldn't that be cool?
She's in school now. She's in Nursery. Her school's name is St. Mary's Initial Learning Experience (SMILE).
She seems to enjoy it. And then she got a bit bored--- she wouldn't even complete her seatwork. Result, she only gets 50% done. I had to chide her to do good if she wants me to come home. Great bribe huh?
Anyway, it's Friday here. And every Friday I get to send her off to school. Today, she's sick though. So she had to go to her pediatrician. Well, I just have to stop worrying about her too much. I have to let it go. She'll be fine.

I miss you

2011-05-14T09:06:00.000+04:00

It's been a week since I have last seen you. I miss you so much. You know how much I do. I really long for the day that we'll be together and I will be your mommy who'll be there whenever. I don't regret leaving you. I needed it, we needed it. I think I will be a better mother that I had experienced how it is to be away from you...

Forever

2011-04-02T20:59:00.000+04:00

It seems forever since I last made an entry here.
I am looking forward to October.
There are things that I cannot control at the office.
I am (still) happy.
Because I know I am okay.

Vacation 2011

2011-03-22T21:24:00.000+04:00

Kikimbing

2011-03-11T09:05:00.000+04:00

This was taken last night when I was in Davao.

Andy really enjoyed it. So did I!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T21:36:00.001+04:00

I wasn't able to greet people this year on this site... I have been really busy with nothing.
I am going home come end of January. I can't wait. I want to spend time with Andy once more!
There will be a lot of things to accomplish... I'll update you all here.

Less than 4 weeks. Thank you Lord!

Random Photos

2010-12-28T11:27:00.000+04:00

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-25T12:46:00.000+04:00

OFW as ‘Buhay na patay’ - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

2010-12-12T09:23:00.000+04:00

A very sad yet may really be true situation of OFWs.

OFW as ‘Buhay na patay’ - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

Seven Weeks

2010-12-11T21:20:00.000+04:00

Ahhh! It seems unending... The countdown that is.
Whenever I speak to Andy, she always ask me when I am coming home, will it be soon? Sometimes I get tired answering her.
But I too have to be patient to explain to her that it will still be next month. less than 2 months now. I hope to see her really soon!
I am very excited to hug and kiss her.
Soon sweetie, soon!

Hello Kitty

2010-12-05T22:16:00.000+04:00

I got to speak to andy last weekend. She wanted hello kitty bag for Christmas. Seems that she has (in a way) has moved over from Dora to another cartoon character. She wanted a bag. She wants to use it when she goes to school next year.

I tried to text her dad. Amazingly he replied. And he'll get Andy her Hello kitty. That saved me something. Although I have seen something to get her for when I go home. Saw a hello kitty rubber shoes that would really look nice on her.

Whisper of a contract worker

2010-11-28T21:38:00.001+04:00

I began this year
thinking that
just as the year before
It would pass by
oh so fast.

I was both right
and wrong.

First few weeks
it was as if I wanted
to rub back home.
I was so bored.

A month later
I managed to entangle
myself to so much work
That days and weeks
felt as if it were
merely hours.

Now, 10 months into
my working year
I am so tired.

I sometimes think about
going home for good
for so many times.
But when I think that
I am about to cross the
finish line,
the end of my
three year contract.

I take a deep breath
whisper a prayer
to extend my patience
and my resolve.

Malapit na

2010-11-26T16:28:00.000+04:00

Sa susunod na 9 weeks, makikita ko na uli ang pamilya ko. Excited na uli akong makauwi. Sino ba naman ang hindi? Lahat ng OFW malamang ito ang panahon na hinihintay. Seryoso. Wala naman kasing gustong malayo sa kanilang pamilya.

Di lang ako ang excited. Pati ang maliit na bata na naghihintay sa Davao ay excited din. Malapit na kasi siyang pumasok, at ipinangako ko na maghahanap kami ng mga schools kung saan siya pwedeng pumasok.

Sa pag uwi ko medyo marami akong worries. Sa susuond na 9 weeks, pag natapos na to, higit kumulang 9 months na lang din ang bubunuin ko para matapos ang kontrata sa kasalukuyan kong kumpanya.

Ang damin tanong. Minsan ayaw ko na mag isip para lang matakasan. Haaay. Wala ng saysay ang sinusulat ko... Hanggang sa muli.

November

2010-11-20T16:20:00.000+04:00

She's grown. She's really grown. Every week when I get to talk to her it seems that she's already grown so much I haven't even noticed. What happened to the baby I left behind? Now, she talks as if she's an adult (maybe because she's surrounded by them).

She is sick today, after mama's hospitalization Andy being sick of colds and cough is a small thing. I don't worry too much these days. I've decided not to worry much, not because I don't but because it won't do me any good at all. I will fret, you have to give me that, but to worry I don't know. Maybe I have worried too much before I got tired.

I am excited that we're past 15 days of November. I feel that days pass quickly after the 15th. Maybe it's psychological. I just think that. Then December will come. And then January and I will be home. I miss being home. I long to be home.

Thank you November for passing by quickly.

Angry Momma!

2010-11-06T21:14:00.000+04:00

Last night Golda told on me that Andy behaved very badly. :( She has learned how to eat well now. I am happy. But when at times when she becomes a bit greedy I begin to hate it.

The moment we were able to speak with each other, I immediately scolded her. haaay. One of the difficult parts of being away this long is not being able to be the one to discipline her the way I want. But do I really know how to?

Shuffling

2010-10-31T21:56:00.000+04:00

Hi all! I am currently shuffling between my two blogs. in Monique Zamora dot Net and here.
You can catch more of me and my own antics and rants there, here it would mostly be of Andy and pieces of me. :)

Thanks for reading and following! Drop me a note or comment so I can exchange links.

Moments with Andy

2010-10-31T21:39:00.000+04:00

As I have said before, I always look forward to weekend here. It means, I get to sleep later than usual. I go to church (on Fridays) which by the way, I have done straight now for a month, thank you! And then I get to chat with my little angel at home.

Nice right? Of course, at times I go out to some malls. Yeah, it actually is very limited to malls for me. I cannot afford to really splurge on going out. And I don't have that big a friend-base here to roam around the emirate or the country. I have gone to Abu Dhabi twice. The second time was better, because I had a chance to go up to one of the highest point (of the building) there.

Anyway, I wanted to share one of the most precious moments I had with Andy yesterday. They were having dinner with me at the background, listening and watching them from afar (like thousands of miles away!). They were having their usual dinner table conversation, when suddenly I didn't quite catch the whole stream, when I heard my name mentioned by my baby. And then I had to have it repeated... she said, "yehey malapit na Christmas pagkatapos ng Christmas, uwi na si mommy!"

Isn't it just the sweetest?

Prayer

2010-10-15T23:22:00.000+04:00

When I called mama yesterday I was surprised to hear her sounding very sick. Well, it is kinda wet back home. Being in the tropical region, you just get wet and wetter season. This time of the year, it rains a lot. So getting colds is fairly common. As with mama, she still goes to work so she's a bit susceptible to getting whatever virus and sometimes her system is down. Anyway, so she was sick, so I asked if she took the time off and rest, that was what I would have done. She didn't. Why wasn't I surprised? And when I asked why, well, she didn't want to stay home because Andy might get infected too.

Oh. That's really sweet. Really. Andy, being her, was too hard headed to listen to mama. She'd taunt you about whatever you ask her not to do, she'll completely do the opposite. Even when I called and told her not to go near mama, she threw the phone and said she will. Haaay.

Tonight though, when I had a chance to talk to mama, I heard a better/ cuter story. When they slept yesterday, mama didn't sleep on her bed (with the baby) and stayed on the other room. This got Andy worried. She practically prayed like this, "Lord, pagalingin mo na ubo ni mama, pati sipon para tabi na kami uli" and kept telling mama, I love you until she slept.

Well, prayers of kids are powerful. Mama's well. And andy learned the value of prayer. Thank you Lord!

Coffee and Donut

2010-09-23T20:43:00.000+04:00

It's almost weekend here. Well, technically I think it already is. One of my officemates, an Argentine gave out donuts for everyone. He says it's weekend. He's probably just happy.

Internet

2010-09-08T21:20:00.000+04:00

I thought I was the only one looking forward to our chat sessions every weekend.
Apparently, Andy was too. The computer was down almost one month now. Dang those motherboard and warranty repairs! Grrr! After 3 times of sending the dang thing to the store (and sending to Manila too!), we finally decided to quit sending it too the store and just buy a new board altogether.

This afternoon, they were able to get the system unit back home and they were excited to try out. The computer was working alright, the Internet connection was not! haaay.

I wondered why they did not go online. I stayed in the office till about 5pm to wait for them. When I got home, I received a text message from mama telling me to call home and that Andy wanted to talk to me. I got worried. What could it be.

Alas, she was very upset that the internet was down. And I had to think of an explanation acceptable to a three year old. To calm her down and let her go to sleep.
I was actually happy... At least my hypothesis was disputed that my baby doesn't really think much about me.

I love you little girl! A few more months until I go home for vacation.

Andy @ 3: Delayed Ballet

2010-08-16T18:53:00.000+04:00

So they went to Cebu to attend my brother's wedding. The date prior to the wedding was supposed to be Andy's 2nd month dancing ballet... I decided to hold the lessons until after they come home.

Mama and I spoke and decided to hold it for one week more before returning to the dancing lessons.

Andy: Magballet na ako mama
Mama: Next week na lang daw.
Andy: Sino may sabi?
Mama: Yung teacher mo.
Andy: Sabi niya yun? Saan kayo nagkita?

And she's just three. :D

Congratulations Paul!

2010-08-13T17:19:00.000+04:00

Newly weds with Mama and Love

Congratulations Paul and Gina!

Cheers to a lifetime ahead.

Upsize

2010-08-07T16:22:00.000+04:00

After a week's work I always look forward to coming home to Fridays. No, not the restaurant! Just Friday and Saturday. Weekend. But for the past weeks Derf and I have been pretty strolling around Dubai's Malls. Crazy huh? To be doing this in the middle of summer! Even at midnight the temperature hovers around 40C, going out is really agony.

Anyway, the other night was really something I looked forward to. Not because there was still an ongoing sale in most of the malls but because of the crazy things happening at the office. Really. As I told derf I am almost at the end of my rope here. I will still stay and wait. But I am also really considering everything now. I am hoping. I am hoping for things to be better.

I hope better things will upsize.

Trip to Ibn Battuta

2010-07-31T22:10:00.000+04:00

Let me walk you through Ibn Battuta. One of Dubai's largest Malls. This is actually pretty interesting because it is a themed mall. All of the travels the Ibn Battuta has gone through in his lifetime. The arabs/ developers of this great establishment tried to capture most of it anyway.

Enjoy!

To my Girl

2010-07-26T22:39:00.000+04:00

Three years ago, a precious gift was handed me. A gift that has made me a complete person. Inside and out.

Happy 3rd Birthday Andy! Mommy loves you so much. You may not understand why I left you for the past 2 years now, but rest assured that I am doing this not just for myself but for the two of us.

Have a great day today. I hope you like my gift even without the Jollibee party.

Finally

2010-07-24T10:31:00.000+04:00

I have purchased my own dot com! :) yahoo! Getting your own domain really is exciting. It's not just because all your adolescent life you actually wrote on your notebook, book cover, or wherever else something like myname.com/ yourname.com . Now it is actually a reality.

And I thought that getting your own dot come was a superscience by itself! Haha! Think again. With some paypal load and a little knowledge of installing wordpress plus loads of friends who help you with it... voila! Come and check out moniquezamora dot net. :)

Andy Moment- 23 July 2010

2010-07-23T22:21:00.001+04:00

Andy has been suffering from cough, probably because of the weather at home. Rainy season has began so the changing weather has taken it's toll on her.

It's not even just a cough, it's kind of productive cough.

Concersation with her lola:

Mama: Kailangan mo idura ang plema.

Andy: *cough* *cough* Mahirap ma!

Mama: Andyan na oh! Nasa lalamunan na.

Andy: Kailangan ba talaga ilabas ma?!

Mama: Stumped!

Sex and the City- Drop-off

2010-07-19T21:33:00.000+04:00

I will have a more personal, kinda adult-ish entries. It will begin with SATC so you'll be warned.

Enjoy

When your close to 30, no current boyfriend or boy-toy (whatever is better), in a foreign land (with a lot of men around) you begin to wonder is it just me or is it just me? I seriously think that I may be projecting a very tough image. Probably. That's why they don't come as easily as to other women. Well, that's actually an over-reaction to being single.

Okay so the past months (maybe even a year ago), there are those who send some "feelers" but I always brush them off. The past few months/ weeks however, there is this one guy who kept inviting me to lunch, taking time to greet me... pa-cute in short. Until one day he asked my officemate if I had a boyfriend... I frantically asked my friend to say to say that I have one. I don't know why I did that. Am I afraid of something?

Tsk tsk tsk. Am I being afraid of opening up? I did open up to someone, sort of, when I went home. Lol.

Did I mention he dropped me home today?

Reasons

2010-07-18T08:22:00.000+04:00

I always want to talk to Mama and Andy and people at home.
That's what you realize when you are so far away from them.
Again, thanks to the beauty of connectivity from our office, flat
Even outside using my mobile phone.

Too bad that there are a few free hotspots here than home.
Anyway, Andy's 3rd birthday is coming up on July 27.
Was it that long time ago?
I called her last week.
Mama wasn't home yet so I called the landline at home.
She answered,
"Helllooowww???"
I said, hi, how are you? Have you eaten... And then I casually asked her
Do you know who I am?
She matter-of-fact-ly said, Mama!
Ha! Mama...
This is mommy... I laughed though.
Was my voice that same as my mama's?

She then blurted out, I want the "scooster" (oh, the scooter!)
I countered, We'll by the scooter but we're foregoing the Jollibee
Her quick reply, a very emphatic, "BAKIT?!"
I had to laugh... Bakit nga ba?

Hotel, este- Hospital Visit

2010-07-10T23:41:00.001+04:00

When you are abroad one of the things that you always hope will not happen to you is get sick. Seriously. Maybe even when you are in the Philippines for that matter. But sometimes there are instances that you cannot help but see one. Or maybe a flu bug hits you, or some random weird thing/ illness happens. Just like when I had to visit a dermatologist early this year.

Today, I went to visit one of my aunts who was rushed to the hospital for some post surgery bleeding, for the second time! When she first posted her facebook status last week that she was being prepared for surgery, I got a bit confused and worried but when I read that it was a simple sinus operation, I thought, what the heck. It's nothing serious. But yesterday, I read another status that she was rushed back to the American Hospital in Dubai because of bleeding, I got a bit worried. Later that day she sent another message that she's fine and will be discharged. Okay, I thought since I was really tired from all the cleaning that we had to do because of the pest control we had to hired to get rid of all those bugs and insects at home.

Today, my other aunt who's in Davao (this aunt's sis) sent me a message telling me that Tita Gina was back to the hospital. I even replied that that was yesterday and that she's home and resting. She said no, that there was another bleeding incident. I didn't waste any time now, took a bath and changed to get to American hospital where she was confined. True enough, she was there, just out from the emergency surgery--- which was to cauterize the nerve which caused the bleeding.

Upon entering the hospital I was really amazed at this one. I thought that when I visited Medcare a few months back it was pretty good, this one, it's awesome! Seriously. I thought I had entered a five star hotel. The lobby, goodness, it's huge! Even the lift resembled to the lifts I had ridden back in Manila's Penninsula or Intercontinental.

When I got into the room! It is not very very big as the biggest rooms in Brokenshire hospital in Davao, but see, it's really cozy and probably has state of the art things inside...

I stayed for a few hours to catch up with her, I also waited for Tita Len (her cousin and my papa's cousin too!) so we can go home together... Everything is fine now. I really hope that all will be well with her.

Oh,did I mention that the hospital has ala-carte menu for your food? Pretty awesome right? :)

Bhaket List

2010-07-04T22:38:00.000+04:00

Parang kailan lang nung umuwi ako para magbakasyon. Ilang buwan na lang at uuwi na uli ako. Syempre nung umuwi ako, nakalimutan ko na gawin ito lahat. Masyado yatang na-excite.

Di ko lang alam kung kaya kong gawin ito pagkauwi ko sa Davao. Pero syempre, I'll keep it manageable para naman kayang maabot.

Spend as much as possible all the vacation as Andy's Mom. Seriously. I think Mama was really thankful na she had a rest when I was home this year. I had to coerce Andy to get used to me there though. It was a hit and miss type of thing. When she's in a good mood, she likes me, but when she throws tantrums, she looks for Mama. :(

Food!
2. Kumain ng mga sumusuonod at sa mga sumusunod na lugar:

Durian. - Mukhang kaya ito, wag lang sana abot langit ang presyo pagkauwi ko tulad noong January.
Champorado with matching tuyo.
Kumain ng dinakdakan at Bulalo sa MTS.
Lapid's Chicharon
Kain ng Lechon. Syempre naman!
Inom ng Kape sa Blugre.
Kain ng Puto at tsokolate kina Pamelars! yey!
Kinilaw!
Taho
Mangga't Bagoong
Kumain ng totoong saging. Di tulad noong saging na andito sa Dubai. :( Di naman namin kinakain yun doon eh.

4. Maligo sa ulan.

5. Maligo ng dagat, syempre kasama pamilya.

6. Magpapa-facial, Pedicure, at hilot. Nope, hindi yung spa spa. Hilot in it's truest sense.

7. Aakyat sa bundok.

8. Makipag-date! lol! swear. manlalalake ako. hahaha! Meron na akong nakunan ng date. Sana matuloy.

At i-e-edit ko itong listahang ito kapag may naisip ako.

Journey

2010-07-04T10:18:00.000+04:00

In a few months' time
I shall set foot again
To the country I proudly
Call mine.

In a few months' time
I shall reflect on the time
Which I have laboriously spent
Away from home
To make sure they have
A place we all will call home.

In a few months' time
I may make yet another hard decision
To go on with what I have done the past year
Or to settle back to what I was used to.

It will not be easy
But will it be also hard?
Which one is easier or harder?
To be able to provide
Yet away from you
Or be there.
I simply don't want to utter that word.

It will not be.
This journey is not easy.
It will never be.

English Breakfast et al.

2010-07-04T10:06:00.001+04:00

Last night we went out to get groceries and some other stuff for my/ our consumption at home. The group went to Carrefour. We actually went out almost 9pm because of the Movie we were watching.

Yesterday was probably one of the longest movie marathon I had here. Four movies. Remember Me (by this Edward of Twilight fame guy), The Tooth Fairy, Karate Kid and Clash of the Titans. I began watching movies around 10 or 11AM.

Anyway back to our trip to the grocery, as usual, we had to endure a lot of people (read: Indians) in the supermarket. This probably is the worst infested Carrefour around here. There just simply too many of them.

As usual, the supermarket had/ as it's promos and what have yous to entice customers to buy from them. I checked out the LCD TV I wanted to get my brother as a wedding gift. Very nice. I am excited when I am gonna really buy it. Alas, I called the shipping company which may bring the TV back home. Lol, it will cost me a lot. Hahaha! So, I better think twice how I will be bringing the TV home. Most probably I'll carry it with me when I go home and then ours at home will be brought next time na lang. To save the more or less 10,000 pesos shipping cost. I can do a lot more shopping with that money!

I am supposed to add an image to this post but I left the image with Drew- I am at work (and blogging on the side). The english breakfast took the back seat already. But it was good. I should do that more often. Oh, and seriously try to reduce more weight.

Flying Car!

2010-06-30T21:30:00.003+04:00

I was born in the time when Jetsons and Flinstones were the "in" cartoons. I remember thinking then, would we ever get to live to see the day when cars would actually fly.
Well, today when I browsed Yahoo, it probably has come.
Enjoy how they made this car fly!

Ballet Lessons for the Li'l One

2010-06-29T15:32:00.000+04:00

When we were younger everyone wanted to dance like Lisa Macuja. You don't know her? Either you are not a Filipino or you have been hiding all your life. She's one of the premiere ballerina of the Philippines. Petite, pretty, very admirable.

When Andy told me/ us that she wanted to go to ballet class I got excited of course! I wanted her to attend/ get the lessons. If I wasn't able to do so while young, why not let her, and while I am capable to support her. Go!

Finally, my sis was able to send me the pictures... Enjoy!

All other pictures may be viewed in my facebook account. :)

It pays to be social

2010-06-26T22:17:00.000+04:00

After many years of being member in a social network? What has it done to you? Many times it actually did me bad. Negative that is. The separation was brought about by the discovery over at Friendster. Well, that's history now.

Lately it has been a lot of meeting both new and old friends from all over the world. Discoveries that one friend is a friend of another that you have met somewhere else. You wouldn't realize it until you see the "common friends" list between you.

Today I realized that more than the horrors of meeting people online, the innate goodness surfaces. I met a fellow blogger Ate Antonette who blogs at Cool Mom Antonette. I was actually at ease when she began commenting in some of my entries. She probably is around age with Mama. Seeing her and her husband here in Dubai is really a welcome change in a what should have been a common Saturday at the flat. I think I just met a truly good friend in them.

Thanks for the goodies! Mangoes still waits to be eaten. Can't wait. And the perfume too. :)

Meeting Online Friend (aka- EB!)

2010-06-23T15:30:00.000+04:00

There are a lot of horror stories about meeting someone online. I mean, let's face it, we are living in dangerous times. No, this is not a horror entry. I 'll try to share here my online quest of meeting friends.

When I was graduating from high school it was the time of the internet boom. Really, everyone wanted to go online but it was really expensive. I remember I paid 60p (about $2 then). Chatrooms were kinda old, First there was something before IRC. I cannot really remember what it was but I remember I had to use a prefix before I can send messages to someone. Then there was IRC, well, there's still IRC now but I think most people use yahoo or other chatroom sites to chat. There was ICQ. I stayed there for quite some time. My first boss also had ICQ, then everyone migrated to Yahoo!

I met a handful of people through the net. There's one from Manila. I have actually met him personally too, on several occasions. We have been in constant communication since 2000, I think. We have maintained friendship on and offline. Then there's someone from the US who I still exchange Yahoo messages with (since 2003).

Then blogging came. I never really thought that I'd meet people through blogs. Well, there are the exchange of ideas when you post online, but to exchange emails/ messages/ PMs, it's another thing! But hey, when I started to work here, and you got a lot of idle time in the office (read: recession in the construction industry), finding something good to read and you can relate to becomes life saving (from insanity). I began blogging on a very personal note, on and off since 2007. Then I realized that blogging, even if I am not the stellar writer that I wish I were, became something of a release to me.

So then, I frequented a site, soon I became constant visitors to other bloggers webpages. It's fun to read something about someone and just about anything actually.

Then I met a fellow Filipina working/ living abroad and actually asked me to help her purchase a ticket to Burj Khalifa (crazy how in the most hi-tech world, they do not have online reservation). For me, it was, okay, I can possibly do it. And I did get them the ticket, sent it to their hotel yesterday, and today I was able to talk to her... This is fun!

It may be a long shot to meet someone as good or as sincere as these bloggers, mind you, there really are nasty bloggers out there. But isn't it nice to help out a fellow Filipino, even with such a small request.

Oh, we're finally meeting come Saturday here in Dubai! :)

World Cup

2010-06-23T09:59:00.000+04:00

It's all over the world! The fever is definitely on. World Cup that is. I wonder how many world cups are there. I thought it would have been finished with all other sports having their own world cups.

Kidding aside, people here in Dubai are all going gaga over the world cup. Fifa 2010. Even my officemates are wearing their team's colors to support their country. The Filipinos on the other hand, kiber!

Only a handful of us really are into this sport. Maybe some of those guys (and girls) who were exposed to the sport early on. But seriously, Filipinos don't play soccer or football like the way they play basketball. I remember having a soccer game for Intramural meet in college and most players in our division (engineering) were those who came from the province. Apparently it's some kind of an "in" sport there.

One of my uncles also play Soccer. I can remember him having a ball and the funny looking spike shoes.

Last weekend I tried watching the world cup, thank you to free streaming sites, it was actually fun. If only I'd understand the rules. Good luck to the teams!

Free Google Apps, Anyone?

2010-06-23T09:54:00.000+04:00

Now that I have successfully (duh!) bought the domain name and connected it to my blog, the challenge of getting the email using my own domain is next. That's the problem I think of not getting your own hosting plan. I never really thought of it until now.

Previously when I bought the other domain, I was able to get an email with @myowndomain.com. Now, I hope to get one with the domain above! lol.

My IT flatmate casually mentioned that I can probably use Google apps. And when I checked it, well, they have removed the free service. Haaay... Are ther even free invites? I am just here.

Summer 2010

2010-06-23T09:46:00.000+04:00

Summer is officially here! Last June 21 was the summer solstice. Or the time when the earth is most inclined to or away from the sun. (please see wiki for explanation). Well, I think we're way too close to the sun nowadays.

Yesterday and today gulf news reported that there is actually a heatwave going on in the middle east. Imagine having to endure 50C of heat on midday at summer, and I just read that in some areas it may reach up to 80C. I was like, what?! 80 degrees (176F). It's nearly boiling point! I think you can really fry an egg by the roadside then.

I used to complain about the weather in the Philippines. But right now, Summer in the middle east is something else. Enjoy the summer!

Domain Name Migration

2010-06-20T10:24:00.000+04:00

I have finally found the courage to get my own domain name. I tried for about two years for another domain name which we had a different plan with my friends. But it failed. It actually became my own domain name and host for my other blog.

Which actually reminds me that I should be migrating stuff from there to here. I know, I have been using wordpress previously.. I really liked it. But this old blog is kinda hard to leave too. So I am still contemplating if I should abandon blogger for a wordpress hosted blog.

At the moment, I am perfectly happy with blogger. So I'll let it be for now. :)

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-19T14:02:00.000+04:00

Fathers are very very different to Mothers. The spelling for one... :D

While I can easily put myself into mom's shoes even if I do mothering from afar, I somehow cannot imagine how it is being a dad. Well, for starters, I would like to imagine what the men are thinking when given the news that they will be a dad soon.

Is it the same feeling as mine when I discovered the pregnancy? Are they nervous, ecstatic, afraid or excited? When the child comes, what's their reaction? While moms have special connection to their children the moment they are born, is it the same with fathers?

And when the children grow older, fathers poses to be the tough persona in the family. I've had a not so good relation with my father, probably because we were so much alike that our personalities clashed. Only later did I realize that. I am sure that in time I will make peace with it. I had already made peace with him. It's just a bit more time to accept that I am truly his daughter and whether I like it or not I am more like him than not.

Just last week I read someone twit a message saying:

Anyone can be a father but only special ones can be dad.

It makes sense. Truly anyone any person can be a father in the biological sense but very few really truly become Dads.

There may be a very very different world between fathers and mothers but whatever they are going through as a father or as a dad to their kids I wish you the best. I hope your children will look at you with all the respect and love that you deserve. That includes Andy's father too.

Gay French McDonald's Commercial

2010-06-06T12:08:00.000+04:00

When I saw this commercial in youtube last week I don't know if I would smile or get angry. Being out in the open as gay is something. But having to confront your father who doesn't know anything is something else.

Well, I think let's just being open minded about things.

Enjoy.

Two Hundred-- Crossroad again?!

2010-06-05T22:10:00.000+04:00

When I started this blog I knew it would be something about me and my former boyfriend. I was then expecting, about 12 or 13 weeks on the way, I was hopeful of so many things. I tried to be positive inspite of the odds that I knew were against me and our history. I hoped.

I was excited. I blogged about the travels I did that year, the anticipation of waiting for him to come back, and of course, the excitement of the coming baby. It was a fun year, the first.

But in 2008, the dreaded news came. I was surprised, or was I? Or was I just waiting for it to happen? Well, it did. And in a way it was a closure that I was waiting for. Of course, it would not really close, there is my little girl caught in between.

In 2008 it was different. I was in a new challenge. I would be a single parent, not that I wasn't when I got Andy but truly. There was no dream and hope of getting back together. Or the wish of a happy ever after for us. I was alone. I'd have to raise Andy by myself.

And then it turned on a different avenue altogether. I got accepted to a job abroad. Never did I imagine I'd be working outside the country. I was quite happy where I was at and there was the baby. The challenge that the opportunity opened to me made me think, what would happen if I go out there and try? I am not gonna lose anything. Well, save for the next 3 years in Andy's life, which by the way is really important. But I thought this is something that will be for Andy anyway.

The stay here, more than one and a half year already has been an eye opener. It made me appreciate what I have and what I don't. It made me realize that not everything can be bought by money. Oh, that was said before, right? But you just had to experience it to learn it.

It made me stronger. It made me realize how much I want to come back home. Yes, you read it right. I am still in a crossroad now. Should I stay for the whole duration of the contract, or should I ask to be sent home? Surely I would not want to resign from this company to get another job in this country. Seriously.

The contemplation now is when.

This is my 200th post. I was thinking of what ti write at the beginning of the day. Now, I am back at thinking of what I should do.

Andy moment with her Lola

2010-06-01T12:22:00.000+04:00

Remember about the broken computer?

Got this from my brother:

Andy called her Mama Baby, crying:

ANDY: Ma, bakit hindi pa ako nag-aaral ng ballet?
Mama: Sige, tawagan natin mommy mo.
Andy: Paano natin tawagan si mommy, sira man ang computer!

Mommy- hulog sa upuan sa katatawa!

Happy and Sad

2010-05-30T16:00:00.000+04:00

Last weekend was both happy and sad. Sad because I was not able to talk to my daughter as usual when weekends come. HEck, that became a ritual for me the moment I came here. The freakin' computer is broken!!! Geesh! So much for all thos brownouts at home. Haaay. I think I already need to buy a UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply). It's different from the usual AVR that we use. As the name implies, the UPS gives you power supply even of you have brownouts. Well, at least for a few minutes or probably an hour, depending on the size of your UPS. At least it saves your computer from automatically getting shut off because of the sudden loss of electricity. :( Haay! Sad Sad.

Happy because finally I was able to buy my brother and his soon-to-be wife's wedding bands. I am not giving it to them for free... Ano hilo? Nah, seriously, I am not the type who gives away these things, although it would really be lovely if someone gives you such gifts. Anyway, I already promised them something big. Come to think of it, if I were to give them the ring, it would cost me less than buying them the promised LCD TV. hahaha! Why didn't I think of that.

But no, this is their wedding so I am not giving them something that they should invest in. So there, happy and sad. I hope next week would be different. I mean I can talk to andy na. And most probably next week I'll be getting my blogger friend Antonette their Burj Khalifa tickets. :D Something to do...

Blabber

2010-05-26T18:24:00.000+04:00

A barely 3 year old kid is so much fun. They are learning to talk, and do stuff the right and even try the wrong things just for fun.

Makulit, magulo, masaya. That seriously would warrant any parent to come running back home once the opportunity is right. But what is a right opportunity by the way?

I am not going to discuss that here. Andy blabbers a lot now. I called her this afternoon (here) and early evening back home. She was the one who picked up the phone! See, I told you, she's one hell of a phone addict already.

We chat and she told me that she wants to go to ballet class. Right kiddo, you are very very smart huh?

Mama also sent me a text message-- she says Andy is so makulit, example, she still goes to work, see mama is very very very young. So every morning she'd bid Andy goodbye and enumerates reminders to her for the day. This time, since Andy already talks she would already tell mama what the reminders are:

Vitamins, Eat Rice, Sleep and Behave.

Addict na yata anak ko!

Crazy Hot!

2010-05-25T08:38:00.000+04:00

It is so bad out here. Summer surely is just around the corner. Seriously. When temperature doesn't go down below 30C at night, everything seem like hell out here. Soon it will be very very hot to venture out during daytime. Workers, laborers will be given reprieve during midday as well. I wish summer here would simply sprint by. Really.

Being on site makes it worse.

Did I say that I had been sick last weekend? It was really hot when I walked down from the hotel where we hold the Friday worship service. To think it's really just a few minutes walk and I was holding an umbrella above my head. That even did not help. Imagine the heat is evenly distributed across your body. And it was HOT! Seriously hot.
At home we would normally complain of being hot, but not this HOT. This is crazy hot!

Photo Credits: www.cartoonstock.com

Kulitan Moments

2010-05-21T23:05:00.000+04:00

Now that Andy talks sometimes she blurts out sweet nothings. Yesterday while exchanging ym messages with my cousin about Andrea. And the she suddenly blurted out:

Miss na kita mommy.

Awww... I was literally teary eyed.

And I sent her this. :'(

She asked me, iyak ka mommy?

She cried too says my cousin.

Mommy heartache.

RAIN and HAIL

2010-05-20T15:34:00.000+04:00

After living in the Philippines most of my life and experiencing rain and sun only in moderation. Well, there may have been stronger rains than others but seeing this video really shocked me. This probably is what mother nature does when we abuse her. :(
Video Credits to the owner. Found it in youtube.com

Friends

2010-05-14T23:41:00.000+04:00

After over a year in Dubai, I finally got to meet old friends. No, not the one who you pretend who you are not. Those kind who they'd take you in even in the middle of the night, even if they too have their own set of setbacks and problems kind of friends.

Reynold and Marla are friends from high school. While Marlyn and I are more closer than Reynold and me, when we met them for the first time here in Dubai after probably over a year being here, it just felt so good.

We first had a planned meeting about March. When Rey was preparing to leave for his Annual holiday. Yep, we do have those kind of things here!

Anyway, it was fun catching up. We went to see the dancing fountain at the Dubai Mall, at the foot of Burj Khalifa. You read it right. The world's tallest building. And had a nice dinner at Fridays. Rey got to treat us. Way to go!

Today, after Rey's vacation, we came down to visit him in Abu Dhabi. It was fun to catch up once more. Parang di ka nauubusan ng kwento. Seemed like we went to Abu Dhabi just to chat. haha! It was really to hot to go out anyway. So I'd rather that we stay inside the Mall and eat and eat and eat some more...

I wish I could do that with another friend. So much for wishful thinking.

Here's some pictures from the Dubai Mall/ Burj Khalifa visit last March.

To My Mama

2010-05-07T22:21:00.000+04:00

Mama,

I know you'll probably get tons of text messages on Sunday. With all those free texting promos at home. Surely, it's a shame not to use it, especially on mother's day. I want to be different. I'll do what you think I am good at. I'll write.

Let me start off by thanking you.

Not because you have brought the three of us well, that was a given for you. It seemed very natural for you to do that. But for setting as an example to us. I remember very well when you talked to me when I was probably just 11 or 12. We were washing our clothes then. Papa did something really awful, you told me you wanted him to leave. I have seen you cry so many nights before that so I thought it was for the best. I did not realize though that that would be a turning point for me. To stand up and make decisions for myself even if it means almost breaking myself. You taught me how to be strong, as a person. To stand up in the midst of all the problems.

To be self sufficient. Not to be a burden to others. When I had to finish my Elementary years in a private school, when both my brother and sister had to transfer because we barely had enough to get by day by day, you told me you will never ever be a burden to others. It stuck to me. Even up to this day. I will never be a burden to you or to others. Not even to my daughter.

Above all to trust God to guide us in every decision we make. This probably is the best lesson you have imparted us. I know we are not like others who are so active in church, we are not even half of what Mama Lily was when she was alive. But you have taught me that above all we have to call on to God in everything that we do.

As I am also going through the journey of being a mother, I hope I too will leave a positive impact to my daughter as you have been to me. I may be away right now, and I am grateful that you have taken what should have been my responsibility in raising Andy, but I will be back and be a mother to my little one too.

I love you mama and I thank God He gave me to you.

Home

2010-05-01T23:02:00.001+04:00

I did say that I was addicted to Glee, the musical series right? Today, I saw their latest episode. It wasn't as great as Power of Madonna, they still have to top that. But honestly today it touched me real hard.

Why? It talked of Home. It may be one of the most very very boring thing to think of. I have a daughter, yeah, but all the rest of my memories of home consist of a lot of heartaches too... Without hipocrisy, I can say that home is something that I look back with all the heartaches but I will necer trade that. It made me who I am today.

While watching glee this afternoon, I cried. Listen and enjoy.

Captured!

2010-05-01T00:27:00.000+04:00

She looks so grown up!

Hospital Visit - 1st time here?

2010-04-28T21:59:00.000+04:00

I was never afraid to see a doctor or a dentist. In fact I enjoy it. Maybe because I have seen too many people in my family died because they did not want to have everything checked. Okay, dying may be too much. How about seeing other people realize that an illness could have been treated and something saved had they seen a doctor.

The past weeks has been really a pain for me. Or lemme say, itchy! Yep. Some part of my body (it's for you to guess!) suddenly got itchy. It wasn't supposed to be. And then a few days later it started to flake. Hmmm... I got worried of course. Aside from the bad itch, really bad itch, the skin dryness is getting worse. And the more that it gets dry the more that it became apparent that it was getting worse.

I had to see doctor. soon. But, alas, I remember that I have a personal doctor who I gladly text/ call or email straight from the Philippines. So I did email her. And told her what I have in my own medicine box, she replied, okay try to use that and let's see.

A few days applying the cream, it actually got better. But after a few days it became itchy once more. Oh no! I think that I really need to go see a doctor. Soon.

So today, armed with my insurance card, thank God our company got us covered here, I went to Med Care Hospital. Had an appointment arranged to see a female dermatologist at 4:15PM. It was near the site office so I had no reason no to be there on time. In fact I only had to walk, even if it was quite hot @ 4 in the afternoon.

Off I went, she saw me around 4:30 and checked what was wrong. She gave me the prescription and told me to see her after 10 days.

Did I say that I had to pay 50AED for the doctor and some 85AED for that crazy cetaphil cream and QV soap. It wasn't covered by the insurance. Oh well... for the itch to get away, I will gladly pay it! Hope this works.

Sweet Little Lady

2010-04-23T21:37:00.000+04:00

My Papa's half sister's sister got married yesterday. Andy was asked to be a flower girl. She's so adorable. And she bragged that she was a good girl during the wedding because she walked down the isle.

The first time she was asked to be one she could barely walk. I had to carry her down. As usual, being the proud mommy, here she is during the make-up session.

Smile by Lily Allen- Glee Cover

2010-04-13T23:01:00.000+04:00

I'm addicted to Glee lately. They sing cool songs. By cool I mean, songs I know, famous and they give it a twist.

I could not help but really smile when I saw this earlier on the 12th episode. This song was introduced to me when I was a girl in the gutter in 2008. But now, no more. It just makes me smile wider hearing a crazy song and why you should not be lingering on depression. lol. Enjoy.

She's Learning

2010-04-11T22:28:00.000+04:00

Today is one of Andy's better days. She wasn't cranky, she didn't throw a tantrum. She was totally an adorable baby.

Since it's sunday, they went to church in the morning and then went out for lunch- well, over at my uncle jun's house that is. Andy managed to get mama to get her around as usual.

At around 5pm their time, they began sending me text message that they are online and that I should also be too, as if I am not. Anyway, the usual exchanges. But now, when Andy is asked to told of some phrases she'd gladly reply. Like when I buzzed them and said hi, she automatically said "Good afternoon", How are you?, Fine or was it mabuti? All those things that we tried telling her is slowly paying off!

I would not wonder one day that she'll gonna chat with me directly, not that she is not right now. We do have times that we are the only ones talking. I still have to practice though. My distance makes it quite difficult to fully comprehend her.

One day down. Few hundred more!

She's going to be fine

2010-04-04T15:35:00.000+04:00

She got out of the hospital today. Finally. After almost 4 days of confinement.

As usual, I was excited to hear from them when I they get home. See, when I arrive at the office, it's 12nn at home.

I had tons of things to do actually that I didn't notice that it was almost 3pm back home when they started ym-ing me. The usual, I asked them how they were, they said fine... etc, etc.

And then they went blank. Must be the sucky connection at home.

So I waited until after I finished lunch, which means it's already early evening in Davao. They asked me to call home. I wondered why. I was already online and we can exchange messages. My sister insisted. Basta!, she said.

Called. Andy answered. She's barely 3, she talks but sometimes there's a communication gap between 29 and 2.8. :o)

Mama got the phone. Explained how much the bill was, how much discount she got from the pediatrician. And how your bill costs more when confined on a holiday. crap!

And then the bomb!

When they got home, Andy was really excited. She must miss home so much. That's how she is/was even before. The moment she got in the house, she went to the rooms, walking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth... You know, a 50sq. m house is huge when you're 3 yrs old.

And then she fainted! I was like, what?!

But she's okay now. She must be really tired and very excited to come home.

I'm just glad that my baby's gonna be fine.

Hospital Once more

2010-04-02T21:14:00.000+04:00

For the 3rd time this year, Andee finds herself admitted in the hospital. I was really devastated when I received the text message at about 4AM (Arabian Time). They had rushed my daughter to the Brokenshire Hospital because she was running higher fever and has been throwing up almost all that she has taken in. That includes milk.

I hate it when she's sick and I am not there to take care of her. The price of working abroad! :( I know her doctor and the hospital and my Mama is taking good care of her. But still, you can't take away the worry that creeps into me when this things happen.

I am praying and claiming that God will heal her from this!

Sick Again

2010-03-31T22:20:00.000+04:00

Before I left she got sick of Amoebiasis. A few weeks later she got hit by pneumonia. And now, she's (again) down with cough and phlegm. Wouldn't it stop? Her frail figure hasn't even recovered yet and now she's sick. Good thing Mama and Love are at home the next 4 days because of the long holy week vacation at home.

I am praying that everything will work out well with Andy.

Gain Vs Sustagen

2010-03-29T22:01:00.000+04:00

Ever since Andy got confined last February, I was too worried about her weight. She's a petite toddler, I have come to accept that but being overly underweight really is a cause of worry for any parent.

When she was discharged Mama and I discussed about changing her formula. From Nido, which I think has not really caused dramatic increase in Andy's weight, we decided to try Gain Advance. I think it's a good decision since when she began drinking it, she has been taking in more milk than when she was taking Nido. Of course it made me happy. It's just that it's a lot more expensive than Nido. Maybe 2x the price?

Anyway, I asked if she could be transferred to Sustagen, which I think also has a good nutrient content vis-a-vis it's price. It's like a mid-point of Gain and Nido. I think Andy liked it too, after the initial drink which she noticed that it wasn't Gain anymore, she happily moved to Sustagen.

Earlier today though, after a chat with Love, my sister, she said that they're getting Andy back to Gain, why, I asked. Andy's not sitting well with Sustagen. Too soft poop, and she said that her tummy ached whenever she goes. oh. I thought, if that is the case, then move back to Gain.

I just hope she eats more now and not rely on the milk too much.

note: this is not a paid advertisement. my kid does drink those milk brands.

Why Eat Plain Rice?

2010-03-22T22:06:00.000+04:00

I was talking to Mama and Andy this afternoon (around 5pm here in Dubai and 9PM in Davao), the usual kamustahan.

Ako: Ma, kamusta kayo?
Mama: Hay naku, di ako makapag online. Nakalimutan ko ang password ko. Di automatic ang account ni Lab2.
Ako: Kamusta si Andy? She likes Sustagen na?
Mama: Oo, ang lakas na kumain.
Ako: How about kanin?
Mama: Ayaw kumain ng plain rice.
Ako: Huh? Anong gusto niya? Fried? Naku!
Mama: Oo, heto kausapin mo.

Phone passed on to Andy.

Mommy: Hello andy? How are you?
Andy: Mommy hindi kami online, bukas na lang.
Mommy: Ok. Drink your milk and eat rice ha?
Andy: Ayaw ko ng rice. Walang lasa!
Mommy? (smiling), ask Mama to cook sinangag ok?

Why ever do we eat plain rice nga ba? It doesn't taste anything. Thus plain nga diba?

Haist! the difficulties of a parent!

Daw Kurek 2

2010-03-14T19:36:00.000+04:00

She was so funny today. At around 4:00PM here I texted mama and told her if they were home. See, they went to church in the afternoon instead of the usual morning. So I had to check if they are home.

They were. They went online and they called me right away. The problem was their speakers were not working. I heard them though. loud and clear.Here's what I heard:

Mama: Hello, nik? Niiiikkkk!!! Helloooo!!!

Andy: Hello Mommy? Mommy???

Mama: Naunsa napud ning speaker nato. Tan-awa daw ning speaker beh!

Andy: Ayusin niyo dyan, yan, sa baba. Ikabit niyo lang! Ganyan lang... Mommy, Mommy?

Mommy at the other side, forgot her head ached and began laughing!

Daw Kurek!

2010-03-04T16:59:00.000+04:00

Uso ang brownout sa Pilipinas. Nung umuwi ako, wala naman akong naranasan.

Ngayon, madalas na. Araw araw.

Hinihintay kong mag-online sila mama at andy ngayong hapon (dito sa desyerto).

Biglang nakatanggap ako ng text kay mama:

" Walang ilaw dito, ang hirap daw sabi ni andy. murag korek! hahaha"

Naku! Si mama yata ang nagsasalita.

Paglalakbay- Part 2

2010-02-22T19:51:00.000+04:00

Akala ko tapos na yung kalbaryo ko sa eroplano na katabi ay pana-dol. Nga pala, bago pa kami lumapag eh nagspray ng sangkaterbang air-preshener ang magagandang binibini. Regulasyon daw yon sa bansa na nilapagan naming. Grabe, ano bay un? Takot ba sila na may nagdala ng sakit sa amin? Di kaya mas marami kaming sakit na makuha sa paglapag na iyon?! Naku. Pasensya po.

Ayun, nagsibabaan na sila. Kesyo nga di naman magpapalit ng eroplano, kaming mga natira, siguro nasa 10 lang eh naghintay habang naglinis ang ground crew ng Cathay. Ayun! Paiwas iwas sila sa amin, iwas din naman kami sa kanila.

Nagpalit din pala ng crew. Unang ginawa, nagbilang. Marami silang nagbilang. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Pero siguro kada merong aakyat na personnel ng Cathay eh binibilang kaming mga Pinoy. Di naman yata kami gremlins na dadami na lang bigla, ano ba!

Hala, matapos ang halos isang oras, pinapasok na din nila ang mga papunta nanaman sa HK. Madami sila. Parang di nabawasan. Haay. Akala ko naman solo na naming ang eroplano! Lol.

Heto pa, mga 8 oras yata ang byahe pa-HK. Matanda na yung katabi ko kaya ok lang, tulog siya halos buong byahe. Pero yung batang nakaupo sa likod ko eh may balak yata maging singer. Ayun, siguro mahigit 4 na oras iyak lang ng iyak. Ang sarap na magreklamo.

Konting tiis na lang, malapit na sa Pilipinas.

B.a.d. D,a,y.

2010-02-21T22:23:00.000+04:00

Today must be one of those days when you've had enough. I mean, it's one thing to be in an office with so many different nationalities. It's another to be working with different personalities. But when you work with people in one company who seem not to expect, even on the simplest logic the things that you are doing.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

This is exactly how I felt today.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T17:00:00.001+04:00

Happy Valentine's day!

She is my Valentine.

Weekend woes

2010-02-14T10:21:00.001+04:00

You know the saying when it rains it pours? I cannot help but ask God, Lord, why does these things happen?
Andy got confined in the hospital on Thursday night in the Davao. That's her second confinement in the past month alone. First was when I was on my way back to Dubai, she got hit by Amoebiasis. It was pretty scary especially when only a few days are left for you to spend with her. I was actually kidding her that it was her way to say don't go mommy. I had to rebook my flight. I liked it. I didn't want to leave her then. Not ever.

And now, she got a bad case of cough and colds and she's running a fever. While I wait for them to send me sms on her condition I cannot help but ask myself again, is this really worth the distance, the money that I send them? My heart and mind going around in circles looking for answers to this million dirham question. Of course it is not. But then again, there are things that have been done and cannot be undone.

Today, I received another message that she is a lot better. After 3 days in the hospital. I sure pray to God that she recovers fast.

xoxo,

Mommy

Vacation 2009-2010

2010-01-31T22:57:00.000+04:00

It was really fun. It was short but I enjoyed it immensely.

Ang Paglalakbay- Part 1

2009-12-26T15:11:00.000+04:00

Kagabi pa ako nasa Airport. Mahigit isang araw na. Maaga akong nagpunta kahapon sa airport dahil walang maghahatid sa akin. Ganyan ang buhay sa abroad. May pasok ang mga tao, o di kaya nagpapahinga para sa pasok kinabukasan. Mahirap na na humingi ng ganitong pabor. Importante ang pahinga sa amin. Alam na alam ko yan. Ako pa!

Alas-5 pa lang eh yumakag na ako. Iniisip ko kasi baka sumobra ang bagahe ko. Para kung sakali eh mai--uuwi ko pa sa bahay kung sakali. Salamat naman sa Diyos at maayos ang lahat. Maayos na maayos. Pagpasok ko pa lang sa pagche-checkin-nan eh sabi nung isang kabayan, naku, nahuli na daw ako sa "early check-in" tapos maaga pa daw ako sa regular na pagchecheck in. Naku naman. Ibig sabihin may mga isang oras pa ako ng paghihintay.

Matapos ang paghihintay nakapag check in na din. Tama lang ang bigat ng bagahe. Di naman sumobra. Kaya ayun diretso na kami sa hintayan para makapaglayag.

Aba, ang galing naman talaga, delayed daw ang aming eroplano. Ano ba!

Napansin ko pa sa byahe namin, bilang lang kaming mga noypi! oo, sa laki nung eroplano lahat ng andun eh anap. waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Magsastop over kasi sa bansa nila ng 1 oras. Naisip ko tuloy at nagbiruan pa kami ng mga kasama ko na naku, sabit lang yata tayong mga noypi dito eh!

Wala kaming magagawa, uwing uwi na kami. Ayun, byahe na. Para kaming dumaan sa rough road patungo sa kanilang bansa! Totoo! Sabi pa nga nung piloto, kapag lumapag na tayo, kumapit kayo dahil talagang malubak, normal lang yun.

Ako naman, kesyo antok na antok na nga, eh Natulog halos buong byahe patungo mumbai. Aba! Bigla na lang akong nagising. Bumagsak ba tayo? At bakit ganun parang ang baho sa labas ng eroplano eh pumapasok sa loob. Nasususka ako. Sobra.

Buti na lang bumaba na sila.

(Part one of three).

Christmas Day 2009

2009-12-25T18:16:00.000+04:00

I am in the airport now. It's already 6pm in Dubai. I was supposed to check in early so if there are problems I could ran back home. Alas, when I approached the counter, it already closed it's early check in. haay!

I am excited to go home. I did not see Andy open her gifts today. They went to the beach early and by the time they returned home she was way too cranky.

So much for being excited what her reaction will be. I hope I can get the same reaction when she opens her gifts from me.

I am excited.

I love you Andy! Mommy is coming home.

xoxo,

Mommy

Pauwi na talaga

2009-12-14T23:43:00.000+04:00

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung excited ako o kung ano pa ba. Malapit na talaga akong umuwi. Yung mga nakaraang buwan na pakiramdam ko ay di matatapos sa paghihintay para lang makita uli ang aking munting anghel ay malapit nang matapos. Sa wakas.

Ang pagtitiis ng isang inang sobrang nangungulila sa kanyang unica ay mapapawi na. Yung mga luha na madalas tumulo sa aking mga mata ay mapapalitan ng saya sa tuwing iniisip kong ilang araw na lang at mayayakap ko na at mahahalikan ang batang sa tuwing tumatawag ako ay sisigaw ng "mommy, mommy!"

Sabi nila mas mahirap daw ang umalis kapag nakauwi ka ng unang beses. Pero kahit pa. Walang makakapalit sa panahong pwede ko uling makasama ang aking pinakamamahal na anak.

Ilang tulog na lang anak.

Mahal na mahal ka,

Mommy

Christmas Gift, Barbie, Play Doh

2009-12-05T20:10:00.000+04:00

I already got her something for Christmas. I was so excited thinking that she's gonna like it! I was excited. Too excited. I called her, well, had a yahoo chat with her. I let her see what I got her.

A couple of shirts, skirt, set of underwear, and of course play dough. I was excited. Apparently she had something else on mind. When asked what she wanted, she excitedly answered, "Barbie!"

I am so dead. I thought that I did not want to get her that thinking that she was way too young to appreciate Barbie dolls.

I was so mistaken. Today she and her aunt love went out to eat at Jollibee. Going to the place, she saw a Christmas tree with Barbie dolls below it. She quickly exclaimed, "Tita Ab, Barbie oh!" My sis was so touched, she bought Andy that toy doll. It wasn't the real barbie but for Andie it was more than enough.

Merry Christmas Andie!

Phone pal

2009-11-25T23:34:00.000+04:00

Kanina tinawagan ko siya. Akala ko di nanaman ako kakausapin.

Ilang beses na kasi akong di pinapansin sa tuwing tatawag ako

Minsan, "Ma, pakausap naman kay Andy", maririnig ko, with all her feelings. "A-yaw ko".

Hurt ako. Sobra.

Kanina, di sila nag online. Tinawagan ko na lang.

Hello? Nanay (yaya), Si Monique to, Pakausap kay Andy.

"Andy, is mama there?"

Wala pa.

"Si Tita Lab?"

Wala.

Nagsumbong, Mommy, si Nanay 'di marunong mag-cartoons.

I had to figure it out. Is she referring to the Computer of the dvd?

I told her, "okay, teach her anak!"

Mama, malakas ulan dito.

Wow! May Phone pal na ako.

I love you... spaghetti!

2009-11-23T21:22:00.000+04:00

My baby loves this so much. She asked my Mama to buy her one as pasalubong. Mama forgot and had to go back out to buy one. When she came back, Andy was so happy. She even said I love you... to the Spaghetti!

Mommy, naloka!

Photo credits: wowdavao.com

Only you / Hawak Kamay

2009-11-14T22:08:00.001+04:00

Kanina tinawagan ko si Andy. Nagising ako ng 3:30 para makausap siya ng 7:30 ng umaga sa Pilipinas. Ever since kasi, morning moods ng anak ko ay superb! Promise. Seems na gustong gusto niya ang umaga. Parang ang ganda ng lahat ng umaga para sa kanya.

Okay lang sana magsing ng 7:30AM. Ok na ok in fact. Kaya lang kung meron kayong apat na oras na time difference, parang mag iiba ang usapan.Ang tagal ko ng di nagigising ng ganito kaaga para makipag usap sa kanila sa bahay eh. Kasi pakiramdam ko mula nung nakalipat kami ng bahay eh di na ganun ka-atat tumawag.

Marahil sanay na din ako sa set up namin ngayon. Ika nga, resigned to the fact na andito ako ngayon at andun sila. Bibilangin ko ang ilang taon pa bago ako tuluyang makauwi ng lupang sinilangan.

Masyado na OA.

Natuwa ako, kinantahan kasi niya ako ng 2 kanta. At 2 years old and 3 months eh not bad na nakakanta na niya ang Only you, mga 2 linya. At Hawak Kamay. Minsan kailangan pang i-coach. Pero di na yun masama.

Ang saya ko. Sana paglaki niya talagang sasabihan niya ako ng Only You.

Tantrum, terrible two

2009-11-11T23:33:00.000+04:00

A lot of people mentioned that children/ toddler who's turned two is the most difficult time. I may have escaped the terrible two but I sure do not like it.

I hate it that I am not able to hold you when you have your bout of tantrum, sweetheart. I hate it whenever your tita love would send me a message that you've again thrown into fits over the smallest of details.

How I would love to be there in order to comfort you and make you feel that everything will be alright. Yes, it may be different if and when I am there, but still I would really wish and pray that you and I would be together soon.

A few more weeks before I finally come home for my annual vacation sweetheart. I'll be your mom in the truest sense. Oh how I miss being that!

Amazed

2009-11-01T22:23:00.000+04:00

Dear Andy,

It seems like yesterday when I was carrying you inside me and eagerly anticipating the day/ moment that you'd really (actually) come out of hotel mom.

It seem like yesterday when I first went to the pharmacy and bought the pregnancy test kit in order to determine that I was indeed pregnant.

It seem like yesterday when I had to rush to the my obstetrician to check why my tummy was contracting at such an early time, when it was not supposed to. And had to remind myself that I was already pregnant and I had to slow down on how I move about. And how I would carry myself around the office.

It so seem like yesterday when I would fret at what the gender of my baby would be. Secretly hoping I was carrying a boy and then realized that it is not important (anymore) and that the most important thing was that you and I were in perfect health awaiting the most exciting day of our lives.

It so seem like yesterday when I'd hear people ask me if I was really pregnant. If I had not just swallowed a ball or watermelon because I did not really got too fat. That I was so much in control of the food I eat thinking I had to control my weight gain. Praying to God that when I do that I would not have a hard time in labor.

It so seem like yesterday when I asked the nurse about me being in labor and asking Jay to help me get a taxi because I still had to go home so I'd get our things and eat some before I admit myself to the hospital.

Now, more than two years after I had you I am so amazed at how you have grown. How you can talk and throw questions at me.

I will not stop at this amazement. I may be so far away from you but I know one day I will be spending more time with you and marvel at the most precious gift that was given me.

I love you so much Andrea!

xoxo,

Mommy

Importanteng Sasabihin

2009-10-23T18:27:00.000+04:00

As all of us are already working in different parts of the world, when I lie down, my brother goes online on his end. Yes, being in the call center industry for more than two years now, he has adopted the time zone in which they serve.

He's in Cebu. My younger brother. He told me that Andy wanted to talk to me.

conversation: "Tito Pol, usap kami ni mommy. May sabihin ako kay mommy."

So the moment I got the chance to call Andy in Davao, I asked her what she wanted to say to mommy. Well, being the kid in the house, "spongebob chair"

That was the most message she wanted to tell her mother. I was actually looking forward to it. I think I was not let down. I am happy. Maybe because she knows that I am here to provide for her.

~~mommy satisfaction level: 5~~

Do not use Doctors to scare kids

2009-10-15T12:54:00.000+04:00

Andy has cough. (again, sigh). It probably was brought about by the bad weather in Davao.

Conversation:

Andy: Ma, Punta tayo sa doctor ha? (shows thumbs up sign)

Mama: Oo, mamaya. Kanino mo gusto, kay Dr Jack (her pediatrician) or Dr. Nalupa (our family Physician)?

Andy: Hmmm... Dr. Nalpa (she says things in short cut).

It's so unfair for doctors to bear the brunt of not wanting to be seen by kids just because parents use them to scare or make the kids follow them. So pinoy, "sige, pag di mo ginawa yan, dadalhin kita sa doctor!"

And it gives the doctors a very negative light to children, which by the way, they bring it on when they are adults.

Inquiry no. 1

2009-10-13T17:05:00.000+04:00

This is my Uncle Jun. He's Mama's younger brother. He's so looks like my own Lolo, He was his junior (hence Jun!). Andy is his first Apo by his eldest pamanking, that's me.

I remember Andy was so terrified by him and his motorcycle. Now, look at them...

COnversation goes:

ANdy: Papa Jun, wala ka buhok? (sabay himas sa head ni uncle jun)

Papa Jun: Meron...

Andy: (Giggles) Meron?

Andy's Gag

2009-10-10T13:46:00.000+04:00

Mama inis na sa kulit at kamaldita ng apo:

Mama: Ang kulit mo Andy, ipapabagahe na kita sa Mommy mo sa Dubai!

Andy: Ayoko sa Dubai! (with all the emotions) ... Kay Choi2x lang ako (referring to my cousin who lives next door).

Mama naloka sa kakatawa.

Tingnan mo nga kung gaano siya kasaya

2009-10-07T10:18:00.000+04:00

As promised. She got the clothes.

It fits her. Look how happy she is.

I will

2009-09-26T21:06:00.000+04:00

Today is the beginning of my second year. I have finished 1 leg of this 3-leg course. I am to complete a 3-yr contract. I am done with one.

Today I am going to be stronger. I decide to become better than the past year.

I am better when I work wounded. I know. I have done this before.

Wounded not of some freakish accident.

But wounded still because of the hurt of being to far away from my precious angel.

I want to be better for me.

I want to be better for her.

I know that I can do it.

I know that I am going to do it.

I will be happy.

I will myself to be.

Fever

2009-09-22T16:45:00.003+04:00

Photo Credits: Here

Everytime I get a text message from home via my roaming number, it's always, I am excited because someone has remembered me. Or, I am nervous because it might be bad news from home.

Being a mom-away-from-home really is difficult task. Technology has, they say, made things easier. I am just a text/phone call/ ym/ email away from them.

I made sure that they have a working PC at home before I left.

Today while exchanging texts with my mama, I was waiting for her to text me that she bought me that shoes that I wanted her to send me here (yeah, I am still for the shoes back home). She sent me message saying, Andy may be sick. They went to the beach yesterday, and I think she either got too much sun or too much water. haaay! She has colds. It may lead to cough.

I panicked. Sent mama some money to buy medicine. I hope Andy will get well pretty soon. :(

Mommy got something for the baby!

2009-09-20T16:44:00.006+04:00

I promised Andy that I will get her something. So nung napadpad ako minsan sa Burjuman while waiting for Kuya Butch to attend our Iftar Party, oi, mukhang kaya naman pala ng extra ko pang dirhamo ang mumunting pasalubong para sa aking munting iha.

Tamang tama, pauwi si Hope sa susunod na lingo, pwedeng bitbitin ang aking pasalubong. yey! hmmm...

Off si mommy to Burjuman mall. Kaya lang naalala niya na may Max store on the opposite street, so unahin na lang kaya yun. Baka mas mura at mas maganda ang mga naka display. :)

Di ako nagsisi. Paikot ikot si mommy sa loob ng Max. Hanggang maispatan niya ito:

Ngayon, ano kaya ang ipapares?! hmmm. Mukhang maganda tingnan ang blouse na cutie.

Hala, hanap na muli si mommy ng best buy syempre. Ako pa!

Ito ang nakita.
At ito pa!

Malamang kailangan din niya ng sapatos... dun na lang sa Davao, makakapili pa siya! hahaha!

Syempre, knowing na siya'y isang girlaloo, padadalhan ko rin ng tali sa buhok!

Excited akong makita ang reaction ng bulinggit sa padala ni mommy. :D Abangan!

Counting

2009-09-18T20:20:00.003+04:00

I am sure you already know that I am your mommy.
You just do not comprehend yet
As I am so far away from you.

When I hear your voice cry out loud for me
Saying Mommy mommy!
I wonder if indeed that will still be your reaction
when the time comes that I can come home for vacation.

For I remember when I went home for a few weeks
And you came to fetch me from the airport
I was s glad to finally see and hold you
But my knees grew weak when you stepped back
the moment I was infront of you.

I wish to God I can always be there for you
But things are not that simple
as I want it to always be.

Time will only tell
What might be when you grow up.
Knowing that I have missed some years
in pursuit of our greater good.

Picture Perfect Sunday!

2009-09-06T14:08:00.004+04:00

Renovations under way

2009-09-06T12:15:00.002+04:00

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Kanina lang

2009-09-03T22:54:00.003+04:00

She has grown. Nag usap kami kanina. Parang kailan lang na iniisip ko pano kaya pag lumaki na siya? Pano kaya siya magsasalita? Ano kaya ang mga sasabihin niya?

In less than two years nagsimula na siyang magsalita. Ngayong 25 months na siya, naku, matatas na. Kanina ang sabi niya:

Send Cat Mommy...

Buy books Andy Mommy. Bilhan ko daw siya ng libro. Nasira na kasi niya yung mga picture books niya. Promise yun, bibili kami pagbalik ko sa Davao, yung tipong siya mismo ang pipili.

Buy 'yardigans Mommy- Aba, hindi naintindihan ni mommy yun. Yun pala, Nanonood siya ng Backyardigans. Isang palabas na puno ng aral. Binigyan kasi siya ng GF ng kapatid ko, nasira na daw eh. Kaya dapat bumili na ng bago.

Namention ko rin na I saw some things na gusto niya, nung binanggit ko, ang sagot sa akin: Yehey yehey! (Naku nakakaintindi na yata ang anak ko ng terms na pasalubong, bili, pabili).

Haaay. Nakakatuwang ewan na ang bulinggit ko!

When a look and silence rips

2009-09-01T22:47:00.003+04:00

I received a much awaited post last week. I thought it has been lost in the sea of posts across the Indian Ocean, pero I got it! Philpost and snail mail still works.

I was prepared to cry. Honest. I knew I would. And I did. Several times during the almost 60 minutes of 3-day birthday visit of my brother Paul to Davao.

What broke me was when Andy was asked if she loved her mom, she looked back blankly at the camera, at my brother. And then they teased her about it. Okay she's just a baby, and she doesn't understand it too (yet). I was like punched in the stomach. I cried. I cannot imagine having to ask my daughter who she loves more, me or her lola, and I am too afraid to hear her answer. Right now I know her answer.

So again, I come to the point of the importance of this stay so many miles away from my little angel.

When you get to talk to certain people and offer you something that you want so badly-- like a job that's good for your career, it breaks you more! I have so many apprehensions as well. I know when the time comes that I need to come home, like last year, I need to make another decision. The crossroad has to be crossed once more. Until then, I have two more years to complete the decision I made a year ago.

J-o-l-l-i-b- double E!

2009-08-20T17:10:00.005+04:00

I miss Jollibee. I miss the soggy french fries, the yumburger, chickenjoy and practically everything about Jollibee.

I grew up spelling J-o-l-l-i- double E in their commercials. It was fun. I vividly remember Jollibee swimming in the ocean and meeting his friends there. I had those Jollibee collectibles kept inside the "aparador", mugs, glass, toothbrush, plates, name it. We had those.

Jollibee opened it's first store in Davao maybe in the early 1990's. Before that, it was my lola who frequently went to Manila who'd bring us those pasalubongs. From Jollibee items to dunkin donuts, yes, even dunkin took so long to start its business in the province.

Ask any filipino kid back in Pinas and he/she can relate to Jollibee. Even if you have not eaten or gone to Jollibee you probably would know the smilling big bee in yellow and red outside it's stores as if calling you to try the Filipino food.

When I go back home for vacation, I would really stop by and have lunch or meryenda there. I'll post pictures here for proof. ;)

Thank God for the blessings

2009-08-14T21:35:00.003+04:00

I have this very funny (i think) trait, I talk to myself. Sometimes I hear myself making different stories as if I were somewhere else. Maybe I can attribute that to my being a Pisces. They say that Pisces are dreamers. Maybe.

As I was walking towards the grocery just a few hours ago, I heard myself utter a prayer. It was actually the nth time that I did that. Often during my walks home and when I am alone during those walks I'd talk to God. Prayers is just one, sometimes I'd hum a tune or sing for Him.

As always the prayer was for my loved ones back home. My mother, my baby, my brother and sister.

I realized that even though I am too far and in such a different culture/ society I can always find more things to be thankful for. Yes, unlike those families who are complete and together, I thank God that inspite of being a single mom my family showed me more love than I could imagine.

That beyond the poverty that so many people are experiencing, I have a job and able to sustain my family back home. And in the midst of hatred, I have people around me who genuinely treasure the friendship that we have.

Message in a bottle (part 4)

2009-08-09T22:34:00.002+04:00

Dear Andy,

Hi there sweetheart. Oh you've grown so much the past year that I have been away. I remember when I left you, you can barely call me mommy. Now, you've been so talkative especially when I call you.

Please anak as I nearly finish my first year here, I would like for you to understand, not just by your brain but in your heart how I have come to the decision to grab this opportunity. I know I can never turn back time. The moment that I have decided, yes, I will go abroad there was no turning back.

I was once asked if the pay was worth it, please remember this Andy, it will never be. There won't be any monetary equivalent to being beside you as you grow.

The next two years I know will also be hard for me, as our separation won't ever be easy. I pray that when this contract/ experience end there will be something good for me back home.

Always remember that I love you and I will always pray that you grow up to be brave and patient and kind and loving.

There will be so many things that I will want to tell you... I will, in time.

I love you so much anak.

love,

mommy

Knowing

2009-08-08T21:30:00.002+04:00

I was amazed how she has learned the skill of talking. Andie has just turned two and yet she can almost talk straight. The way she speaks to me when I ask her certain questions make me so proud of my daughter.

She's very intelligent and learns fast. I just hope she grows up to be a very very good girl.

Happy birthday little girl!

2009-08-03T17:21:00.000+04:00

Happy.