When I started this blog I knew it would be something about me and my former boyfriend. I was then expecting, about 12 or 13 weeks on the way, I was hopeful of so many things. I tried to be positive inspite of the odds that I knew were against me and our history. I hoped.
I was excited. I blogged about the travels I did that year, the anticipation of waiting for him to come back, and of course, the excitement of the coming baby. It was a fun year, the first.
But in 2008, the dreaded news came. I was surprised, or was I? Or was I just waiting for it to happen? Well, it did. And in a way it was a closure that I was waiting for. Of course, it would not really close, there is my little girl caught in between.
In 2008 it was different. I was in a new challenge. I would be a single parent, not that I wasn't when I got Andy but truly. There was no dream and hope of getting back together. Or the wish of a happy ever after for us. I was alone. I'd have to raise Andy by myself.
And then it turned on a different avenue altogether. I got accepted to a job abroad. Never did I imagine I'd be working outside the country. I was quite happy where I was at and there was the baby. The challenge that the opportunity opened to me made me think, what would happen if I go out there and try? I am not gonna lose anything. Well, save for the next 3 years in Andy's life, which by the way is really important. But I thought this is something that will be for Andy anyway.
The stay here, more than one and a half year already has been an eye opener. It made me appreciate what I have and what I don't. It made me realize that not everything can be bought by money. Oh, that was said before, right? But you just had to experience it to learn it.
It made me stronger. It made me realize how much I want to come back home. Yes, you read it right. I am still in a crossroad now. Should I stay for the whole duration of the contract, or should I ask to be sent home? Surely I would not want to resign from this company to get another job in this country. Seriously.
The contemplation now is when.
This is my 200th post. I was thinking of what ti write at the beginning of the day. Now, I am back at thinking of what I should do.
2 comments:
Hi Monique, everything happen for a reason. You're a strong woman and i believe you can raise Andee without him and its all possible because you're surrounded by your loved ones and friends like me, opportunity just knock once, save for your daughter's future and leave the past behind, i know you will find somebody who's going to love you and Andee in GOD's time, take care and God bless. ate
Salamat po ate... I know that everything happens for a reason... And I know that God is preparing me for another challenge. And I am not losing hope to meet someone someday... in God's time. :D
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