Three Years

Three years ago I was offered a job outside the country. It was something that I had to think about. I wanted to get out of the country, I wanted a new environment. I knew then that it was a very difficult decision to make. But in a way it was also something that I had to make, something that I had to do.


One year, two, three... That was the time that I had to serve. Oh, okay I seem to be making it like a prison sentence. At first, it actually is something like that. I did not like what I was doing, I had no friends to talk to, I miss my family terribly, I missed my daughter so much.


Three years is all it takes. Close out my life here and then start anew with the one that is real. It will not be hard. That was my motto. That was the plan. I prayed for it. It was all in place. Until one day when I came back from vacation, everything seemed changed. Everything seemed different.


I had a lot to do. I had responsibilities. Now almost three years in Dubai, am I ready to go home? Am I gonna keep the promise I did to Andy and Papa? Or will I fail them altogether?  But what does failing them means? 

Andy Time: Testing the water

[Andy time]


A: Mommy, uuwi ka na ba pag natapos ang school ko?
M: Ang tagal pa nun! It will take many many years before you finish your schooling! (Mommy testing the waters)
A: Hmmm... Bakit?
M: Maybe you can come and visit mommy here.
A: No.


Toink!

Malapit na

Sa susunod na 9 weeks, makikita ko na uli ang pamilya ko.  Excited na uli akong makauwi. Sino ba naman ang hindi?  Lahat ng OFW malamang ito ang panahon na hinihintay. Seryoso. Wala naman kasing gustong malayo sa kanilang pamilya.

Di lang ako ang excited. Pati ang maliit na bata na naghihintay sa Davao ay excited din.  Malapit na kasi siyang pumasok, at ipinangako ko na maghahanap kami ng mga schools kung saan siya pwedeng pumasok.

Sa pag uwi ko medyo marami akong worries.  Sa susuond na 9 weeks, pag natapos na to, higit kumulang 9 months na lang din ang bubunuin ko para matapos ang kontrata sa kasalukuyan kong kumpanya.

Ang damin tanong. Minsan ayaw ko na mag isip para lang matakasan. Haaay. Wala ng saysay ang sinusulat ko... Hanggang sa muli.

November

She's grown. She's really grown.  Every week when I get to talk to her it seems that she's already grown so much I haven't even noticed. What happened to the baby I left behind? Now, she talks as if she's an adult (maybe because she's surrounded by them).

She is sick today, after mama's hospitalization Andy being sick of colds and cough is a small thing.  I don't worry too much these days.  I've decided not to worry much, not because I don't but because it won't do me any good at all.  I will fret, you have to give me that, but to worry I don't know. Maybe I have worried too much before I got tired.

I am excited that we're past 15 days of November. I feel that days pass quickly after the 15th. Maybe it's psychological.  I just think that.  Then December will come. And then January and I will be home. I miss being home. I long to be home.

Thank you November for passing by quickly.

Coffee and Donut

It's almost weekend here.  Well, technically I think it already is.  One of my officemates, an Argentine gave out donuts for everyone.  He says it's weekend.  He's probably just happy.

Internet

I thought I was the only one looking forward to our chat sessions every weekend. 
Apparently, Andy was too.  The computer was down almost one month now.  Dang those motherboard and warranty repairs! Grrr! After 3 times of sending the dang thing to the store (and sending to Manila too!), we finally decided to quit sending it too the store and just buy a new board altogether.

This afternoon, they were able to get the system unit back home and they were excited to try out.  The computer was working alright, the Internet connection was not! haaay.

I wondered why they did not go online.  I stayed in the office till about 5pm to wait for them.  When I got home, I received a text message from mama telling me to call home and that Andy wanted to talk to me.  I got worried. What could it be.

Alas, she was very upset that the internet was down.  And I had to think of an explanation acceptable to a three year old.  To calm her down and let her go to sleep. 
I was actually happy... At least my hypothesis was disputed that my baby doesn't really think much about me.

I love you little girl!  A few more months until I go home for vacation.

Upsize

After a week's work I always look forward to coming home to Fridays. No, not the restaurant! Just Friday and Saturday. Weekend.  But for the past weeks Derf and I have been pretty strolling around Dubai's Malls.  Crazy huh?  To be doing this in the middle of summer!  Even at midnight the temperature hovers around 40C, going out is really agony.

Anyway, the other night was really something I looked forward to.  Not because there was still an ongoing sale in most of the malls but because of the crazy things happening at the office.  Really.  As I told derf I am almost at the end of my rope here.  I will still stay and wait.  But I am also really considering everything now. I am hoping. I am hoping for things to be better. 

I hope better things will upsize.

Trip to Ibn Battuta

Let me walk you through Ibn Battuta.  One of Dubai's largest Malls.  This is actually pretty interesting because it is a themed mall.  All of the travels the Ibn Battuta has gone through in his lifetime.  The arabs/ developers of this great establishment tried to capture most of it anyway.

Enjoy!

Reasons

I always want to talk to Mama and Andy and people at home.
That's what you realize when you are so far away from them.
Again, thanks to the beauty of connectivity from our office, flat
Even outside using my mobile phone.

Too bad that there are a few free hotspots here than home.
Anyway, Andy's 3rd birthday is coming up on July 27.
Was it that long time ago?
I called her last week.
Mama wasn't home yet so I called the landline at home.
She answered,
"Helllooowww???"
I said, hi, how are you? Have you eaten... And then I casually asked her
Do you know who I am?
She matter-of-fact-ly said, Mama!
Ha! Mama...
This is mommy... I laughed though.
Was my voice that same as my mama's?

She then blurted out, I want the "scooster" (oh, the scooter!)
I countered, We'll by the scooter but we're foregoing the Jollibee
Her quick reply, a very emphatic, "BAKIT?!"
I had to laugh... Bakit nga ba?

Hotel, este- Hospital Visit

When you are abroad one of the things that you always hope will not happen to you is get sick.  Seriously. Maybe even when you are in the Philippines for that matter.  But sometimes there are instances that you cannot help but see one. Or maybe a flu bug hits you, or some random weird thing/ illness happens.  Just like when I had to visit a dermatologist early this year.

Today, I went to visit one of my aunts who was rushed to the hospital for some post surgery bleeding, for the second time!  When she first posted her facebook status last week that she was being prepared for surgery, I got a bit confused and worried but when I read that it was a simple sinus operation, I thought, what the heck. It's nothing serious.  But yesterday, I read another status that she was rushed back to the American Hospital in Dubai because of bleeding, I got a bit worried.  Later that day she sent another message that she's fine and will be discharged.  Okay, I thought since I was really tired from all the cleaning that we had to do because of the pest control we had to hired to get rid of all those bugs and insects at home.

Today, my other aunt who's in Davao (this aunt's sis) sent me a message telling me that Tita Gina was back to the hospital.  I even replied that that was yesterday and that she's home and resting.  She said no, that there was another bleeding incident.  I didn't waste any time now, took a bath and changed to get to American hospital where she was confined.  True enough, she was there, just out from the emergency surgery--- which was to cauterize the nerve which caused the bleeding.  

Upon entering the hospital I was really amazed at this one.  I thought that when I visited Medcare a few months back it was pretty good, this one, it's awesome!  Seriously.  I thought I had entered a five star hotel.  The lobby, goodness, it's huge!  Even the lift resembled to the lifts I had ridden back in Manila's Penninsula or Intercontinental. 

When I got into the room! It is not very very big as the biggest rooms in Brokenshire hospital in Davao, but see, it's really cozy and probably has state of the art things inside... 

I stayed for a few hours to catch up with her, I also waited for Tita Len (her cousin and my papa's cousin too!) so we can go home together...  Everything is fine now.  I really hope that all will be well with her.

Oh,did I mention that the hospital has ala-carte menu for your food? Pretty awesome right? :)

Bhaket List

 Parang kailan lang nung umuwi ako para magbakasyon.  Ilang buwan na lang at uuwi na uli ako.  Syempre nung umuwi ako, nakalimutan ko na gawin ito lahat.  Masyado yatang na-excite. 

Di ko lang alam kung kaya kong gawin ito pagkauwi ko sa Davao. Pero syempre, I'll keep it manageable para naman kayang maabot.

Spend as much as possible all the vacation as Andy's Mom.  Seriously.  I think Mama was really thankful na she had a rest when I was home this year.  I had to coerce Andy to get used to me there though.  It was a hit and miss type of thing.  When she's in a good mood, she likes me, but when she throws tantrums, she looks for Mama. :(

Food!
2. Kumain ng mga sumusuonod at sa mga sumusunod na lugar:

1. Durian. - Mukhang kaya ito, wag lang sana abot langit ang presyo pagkauwi ko tulad noong January.
2. Champorado with matching tuyo.
3. Kumain ng dinakdakan at Bulalo sa MTS.
4. Lapid's Chicharon
5. Kain ng Lechon. Syempre naman!
6. Inom ng Kape sa Blugre.
7. Kain ng Puto at tsokolate kina Pamelars! yey!
8. Kinilaw!
9. Taho
10. Mangga't Bagoong
11. Kumain ng totoong saging. Di tulad noong saging na andito sa Dubai. :( Di naman namin kinakain yun doon eh.
    

4. Maligo sa ulan.

5. Maligo ng dagat, syempre kasama pamilya.

6. Magpapa-facial, Pedicure, at hilot. Nope, hindi yung spa spa. Hilot in it's truest sense.

7. Aakyat sa bundok.

8. Makipag-date! lol! swear. manlalalake ako. hahaha!  Meron na akong nakunan ng date.  Sana matuloy.

At i-e-edit ko itong listahang ito kapag may naisip ako.

Journey

In a few months' time
I shall set foot again
To the country I proudly
Call mine.


In a few months' time
I shall reflect on the time
Which I have laboriously spent
Away from home
To make sure they have
A place we all will call home.


In a few months' time
I may make yet another hard decision
To go on with what I have done the past year
Or to settle back to what I was used to.

It will not be easy
But will it be also hard?
Which one is easier or harder?
To be able to provide
Yet away from you
Or be there.
I simply don't want to utter that word.

It will not be.
This journey is not easy.
It will never be.

English Breakfast et al.

Last night we went out to get groceries and some other stuff for my/ our consumption at home.  The group went to Carrefour.  We actually went out almost 9pm because of the Movie we were watching.

Yesterday was probably one of the longest movie marathon I had here.  Four movies. Remember Me (by this Edward of Twilight fame guy), The Tooth Fairy, Karate Kid and Clash of the Titans. I began watching movies around 10 or 11AM.

Anyway back to our trip to the grocery, as usual, we had to endure a lot of people (read: Indians) in the supermarket.  This probably is the worst infested Carrefour around here.  There just simply too many of them.

As usual, the supermarket had/ as it's promos and what have yous to entice customers to buy from them.  I checked out the LCD TV I wanted to get my brother as a wedding gift.  Very nice. I am excited when I am gonna really buy it.  Alas, I called the shipping company which may bring the TV back home.  Lol, it will cost me a lot. Hahaha!  So, I better think twice how I will be bringing the TV home.  Most probably I'll carry it with me when I go home and then ours at home will be brought next time na lang. To save the more or less 10,000 pesos shipping cost.  I can do a lot more shopping with that money!

I am supposed to add an image to this post but I left the image with Drew- I am at work (and blogging on the side).  The english breakfast took the back seat already.  But it was good. I should do that more often.  Oh, and seriously try to reduce more weight.

It pays to be social

After many years of being member in a social network?  What has it done to you?  Many times it actually did me bad.  Negative that is.  The separation was brought about by the discovery over at Friendster. Well, that's history now.


Lately it has been a lot of meeting both new and old friends from all over the world.  Discoveries that one friend is a friend of another that you have met somewhere else.  You wouldn't realize it until you see the "common friends" list between you.


Today I realized that more than the horrors of meeting people online, the innate goodness surfaces.  I met a fellow blogger Ate Antonette who blogs at Cool Mom Antonette.  I was actually at ease when she began commenting in some of my entries.  She probably is around age with Mama.  Seeing her and her husband here in Dubai is really a welcome change in a what should have been a common Saturday at the flat.  I think I just met a truly good friend in them.


Thanks for the goodies!  Mangoes still waits to be eaten. Can't wait.  And the perfume too. :)

Two Hundred-- Crossroad again?!

When I started this blog I knew it would be something about me and my former boyfriend.  I was then expecting, about 12 or 13 weeks on the way, I was hopeful of so many things.  I tried to be positive inspite of the odds that I knew were against me and our history.  I hoped.

I was excited.  I blogged about the travels I did that year, the anticipation of waiting for him to come back, and of course, the excitement of the coming baby.  It was a fun year, the first.  

But in 2008, the dreaded news came.  I was surprised, or was I? Or was I just waiting for it to happen? Well, it did.  And in a way it was a closure that I was waiting for.  Of course, it would not really close, there is my little girl caught in between. 

In 2008 it was different.  I was in a new challenge.  I would be a single parent, not that I wasn't when I got Andy but truly.  There was no dream and hope of getting back together. Or the wish of a happy ever after for us.  I was alone.  I'd have to raise Andy by myself.  

And then it turned on a different avenue altogether.  I got accepted to a job abroad.  Never did I imagine I'd be working outside the country.  I was quite happy where I was at and there was the baby.  The challenge that the opportunity opened to me made me think, what would happen if I go out there and try?  I am not gonna lose anything.  Well, save for the next 3 years in Andy's life, which by the way is really important.  But I thought this is something that will be for Andy anyway. 

The stay here, more than one and a half year already has been an eye opener.  It made me appreciate what I have and what I don't.  It made me realize that not everything can be bought by money.  Oh, that was said before, right?  But you just had to experience it to learn it.

It made me stronger.  It made me realize how much I want to come back home. Yes, you read it right.  I am still in a crossroad now.  Should I stay for the whole duration of the contract, or should I ask to be sent home?  Surely I would not want to resign from this company to get another job in this country. Seriously. 

The contemplation now is when.

This is my 200th post.  I was thinking of what ti write at the beginning of the day.  Now, I am back at thinking of what I should do.

Happy and Sad

Last weekend was both happy and sad.  Sad because I was not able to talk to my daughter as usual when weekends come.  HEck, that became a ritual for me the moment I came here.  The freakin' computer is broken!!! Geesh!  So much for all thos brownouts at home. Haaay.  I think I already need to buy a UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply). It's different from the usual AVR that we use. As the name implies,  the UPS gives you power supply even of you have brownouts.  Well, at least for a few minutes or probably an hour, depending on the size of your UPS.  At least it saves your computer from automatically getting shut off because of the sudden loss of electricity. :(  Haay! Sad Sad.

Happy because finally I was able to buy my brother and his soon-to-be wife's wedding bands.  I am not giving it to them for free... Ano hilo?  Nah, seriously, I am not the type who gives away these things, although it would really be lovely if someone gives you such gifts.  Anyway, I already promised them something big.  Come to think of it, if I were to give them the ring, it would cost me less than buying them the promised LCD TV. hahaha! Why didn't I think of that.

But no, this is their wedding so I am not giving them something that they should invest in. So there, happy and sad. I hope next week would be different.  I mean I can talk to andy na.  And most probably next week I'll be getting my blogger friend Antonette their Burj Khalifa tickets. :D  Something to do...

Kulitan Moments

Now that Andy talks sometimes she blurts out sweet nothings.  Yesterday while exchanging ym messages with my cousin about Andrea.   And the she suddenly blurted out:

Miss na kita mommy.

Awww... I was literally teary eyed.

And I sent her this. :'(

She asked me, iyak ka mommy?

She cried too says my cousin.

Mommy heartache.

Friends

After over a year in Dubai, I finally got to meet old friends.  No, not the one who you pretend who you are not.  Those kind who they'd take you in even in the middle of the night, even if they too have their own set of setbacks and problems kind of friends.

Reynold and Marla are friends from high school.  While Marlyn and I are more closer than Reynold and me, when we met them for the first time here in Dubai after probably over a year being here, it just felt so good.

We first had a planned meeting about March.  When Rey was preparing to leave for his Annual holiday.  Yep, we do have those kind of things here!

Anyway, it was fun catching up.  We went to see the dancing fountain at the Dubai Mall, at the foot of Burj Khalifa.  You read it right.  The world's tallest building.  And had a nice dinner at Fridays. Rey got to treat us.  Way to go!

Today, after Rey's vacation, we came down to visit him in Abu Dhabi.  It was fun to catch up once more.  Parang di ka nauubusan ng kwento. Seemed like we went to Abu Dhabi just to chat. haha! It was really to hot to go out anyway.  So I'd rather that we stay inside the Mall and eat and eat and eat some more...

I wish I could do that with another friend.  So much for wishful thinking.

Here's some pictures from the Dubai Mall/ Burj Khalifa visit last March.

Home

I did say that I was addicted to Glee, the musical series right?  Today, I saw their latest episode.  It wasn't as great as Power of Madonna, they still have to top that.  But honestly today it touched me real hard.

Why?  It talked of Home.  It may be one of the most very very boring thing to think of.  I have a daughter, yeah, but all the rest of my memories of home consist of a lot of heartaches too...  Without hipocrisy, I can say that home is something that I look back with all the heartaches but I will necer trade that.  It made me who I am today.

While watching glee this afternoon, I cried.  Listen and enjoy.

Hospital Visit - 1st time here?

I was never afraid to see a doctor or a dentist.  In fact I enjoy it.  Maybe because I have seen too many people in my family died because they did not want to have everything checked.  Okay, dying may be too much.  How about seeing other people realize that an illness could have been treated and something saved had they seen a doctor.

The past weeks has been really a pain for me. Or lemme say, itchy!  Yep.  Some part of my body (it's for you to guess!) suddenly got itchy. It wasn't supposed to be.  And then a few days later it started to flake. Hmmm... I got worried of course.  Aside from the bad itch, really bad itch, the skin dryness is getting worse.  And the more that it gets dry the more that it became apparent that it was getting worse.

I had to see doctor. soon.  But, alas, I remember that I have a personal doctor who I gladly text/ call or email straight from the Philippines.  So I did email her. And told her what I have in my own medicine box, she replied, okay try to use that and let's see.

A few days applying the cream, it actually got better.  But after a few days it became itchy once more.  Oh no!  I think that I really need to go see a doctor. Soon.

So today, armed with my insurance card, thank God our company got us covered here, I went to Med Care Hospital.  Had an appointment arranged to see a female dermatologist at 4:15PM.  It was near the site office so I had no reason no to be there on time.  In fact I only had to walk, even if it was quite hot @ 4 in the afternoon.

Off I went, she saw me around 4:30 and checked what was wrong.  She gave me the prescription and told me to see her after 10 days.

Did I say that I had to pay 50AED for the doctor and some 85AED for that crazy cetaphil cream and QV soap.  It wasn't covered by the insurance.  Oh well... for the itch to get away, I will gladly pay it!  Hope this works.