Every weekend when I get to get online I look forward to hearing and seeing, if possible the little girl I left behind. Today I was lucky to catch her on such a happy mood.
Cousin Eli (aunt to Andee) gladly went online for me to have the baby talk to her mom.
Hearing and seeing her so excited to see me actually tore my heart. It's such sweet torture to see tears brimming on her eyes (not yet wiped) and asked her why the tears... my cousin said that because "mommy's line went dead, that's why". How can a mother bear such an innocent child's plea for her mommy to see her?
It broke my heart and whatever stance I have of vowing for a better future for her. A future without her with me is much bleaker than this.
E-Mail from your Po-to
Andy,
Mom
Haberdee Andee!
Dear Andy,
Happy Birthday! I hope you had a very happy one. I heard you were so happy with the small party that they did for you and your Sunday school classmates. I am so glad that you enjoyed it.
I am also happy that you visited your great grandma. Not because of what other people may think that I want to show to your father how selfishly he took away something I felt so precious for you, rather because I know one day you will really ask me who your "other side" of the coin is.
I hope that when that time comes you will see what I thought I have seen as good for you and for us.
I know it'll be 2 more birthdays which I will miss but I will take that as part of what I have decided a year back. It was truly one of the hardest that I had to do in my entire life. I may, at one point regret it but I never the fact that I have you in my life.
I miss you so much. I miss hugging you and kissing you on your birthday. I hope Tito Paul being there will make things a bit better.
I am going to see you soon sweetheart. I promise.
Love,
Mommy
Happy Birthday! I hope you had a very happy one. I heard you were so happy with the small party that they did for you and your Sunday school classmates. I am so glad that you enjoyed it.
I am also happy that you visited your great grandma. Not because of what other people may think that I want to show to your father how selfishly he took away something I felt so precious for you, rather because I know one day you will really ask me who your "other side" of the coin is.
I hope that when that time comes you will see what I thought I have seen as good for you and for us.
I know it'll be 2 more birthdays which I will miss but I will take that as part of what I have decided a year back. It was truly one of the hardest that I had to do in my entire life. I may, at one point regret it but I never the fact that I have you in my life.
I miss you so much. I miss hugging you and kissing you on your birthday. I hope Tito Paul being there will make things a bit better.
I am going to see you soon sweetheart. I promise.
Love,
Mommy
Thursdays are word updates
Thursdays shall be new words day for this blog. Or at least until Andee really gets into talking.
I was able to chat with my Mama this afternoon here in Dubai, she told me some phrases that my little princess is speaking:
1. Ma, malapit na ang birthday ko. => referring to her 2nd birthday come Monday, 27-july
2. Ma punta ako kay tita patch.
She's only gonna be 2 this monday. *wink wink*
Made mommy so proud!
I was able to chat with my Mama this afternoon here in Dubai, she told me some phrases that my little princess is speaking:
1. Ma, malapit na ang birthday ko. => referring to her 2nd birthday come Monday, 27-july
2. Ma punta ako kay tita patch.
She's only gonna be 2 this monday. *wink wink*
Made mommy so proud!
Picture Perfect!
Now she's learning how to drive.
Happy birthday tita patch!
Andee @ 1 year 11 months and 3 weeks old.
Change
Many resist change. Many of us even hate change. But fact is, we have to get used to change. Everything changes. Once in a while we ought to seek change in fact.
I heard/ read that something that is stagnant causes (it) to stink. I am not saying that we have to change everything and anything... But change is actually good.
It makes us grow and it makes us appreciate things more. Moving here in Dubai was a big change for me. Being a mom even was a huge change. Responsibilites and Parenthood both were great changes in my life. Well, it was something that I had to face head on.
My Person
I am not sure how to begin telling our story.
Knowing you half of my life should mean something.
It isn't always that we meet somebody who we get along with
And be very very at home with.
I was fortunate to have grown up
knowing that besides my family I have another person
I can go to. Run to.
I am very fortunate that I among all the friends you've crossed path
I am one of the many you considered close as well.
On the crossroads that I/we are faced
I hope that one day and soon after this things are over
We'll be able to say that it was something that this friendship needed.
As Yang would say,
You are my person.
Knowing you half of my life should mean something.
It isn't always that we meet somebody who we get along with
And be very very at home with.
I was fortunate to have grown up
knowing that besides my family I have another person
I can go to. Run to.
I am very fortunate that I among all the friends you've crossed path
I am one of the many you considered close as well.
On the crossroads that I/we are faced
I hope that one day and soon after this things are over
We'll be able to say that it was something that this friendship needed.
As Yang would say,
You are my person.
New Words New Words!
She is beginning to be a handful now. She runs around, talks non stop, and even asks for things to be done for her.
On occasions that I do hear her scream or ask for something I enjoy myself immensely.
"Padala Cat" Referring to an Emoticat i send her through Yahoo Messenger.
"Usap Mommy" - She doesn't want to put down the YM call even if Mama wants to turn the PC off.
"Watos please" - Water
"I love you Mommy" - need I say more?
"I miss you Mommy" - Mom's heart already breaking.
"Ingat!"
Beat that! She isn't Two years old yet. hehe
On occasions that I do hear her scream or ask for something I enjoy myself immensely.
"Padala Cat" Referring to an Emoticat i send her through Yahoo Messenger.
"Usap Mommy" - She doesn't want to put down the YM call even if Mama wants to turn the PC off.
"Watos please" - Water
"I love you Mommy" - need I say more?
"I miss you Mommy" - Mom's heart already breaking.
"Ingat!"
Beat that! She isn't Two years old yet. hehe
Sorry
Andy,
Sorry if I was not able to speak with you this weekend. I know I was very very excited to see you and hear you. When your mama-lola said that you were asking for me when she and I chat, my heart broke. Darn this internet connection. Doube darn PLDT!
I hope I can speak to you next weekend. Your birthday is coming up very soon. I don't know if it is a good idea to spend for a party. I hope you will understand. Soon anak I know you will. Be patient with me. Please wait for me until I get to finish this contract and I can go back home. I don't know if it will be the best option we have but I know it is so hard to keep up with the distance and not being able to spend more time with you.
I hope one day you will understand why I had to do this, leave you and work away from you.
I love you so much!
Love,
Mommy
Sorry if I was not able to speak with you this weekend. I know I was very very excited to see you and hear you. When your mama-lola said that you were asking for me when she and I chat, my heart broke. Darn this internet connection. Doube darn PLDT!
I hope I can speak to you next weekend. Your birthday is coming up very soon. I don't know if it is a good idea to spend for a party. I hope you will understand. Soon anak I know you will. Be patient with me. Please wait for me until I get to finish this contract and I can go back home. I don't know if it will be the best option we have but I know it is so hard to keep up with the distance and not being able to spend more time with you.
I hope one day you will understand why I had to do this, leave you and work away from you.
I love you so much!
Love,
Mommy
Rainbow
I wish that one day I will be able to let you see a rainbow on the horizon and tell you not to point at it because it'll cut your finger. That was what all of them told me. Or if you have accidentally pointed at one, you should bite your finger.
Funny huh?
Or maybe the two of us would walk towards the rainbow and see if the pot of gold which everyone is talking about is real.
But the pot of gold maybe tough to find. My pot of gold is already with me. The chance to spend my day and discover things with you will be more than that pot of gold.
Daughter
What have I done
to deserve someone as sweet as you
You're God's precious gift
when everything in my world seem to fall apart
Your angelic face
such a blessing of grace.
The tiny hand holding mine
Cannot be mistaken you truly are mine.
Until when, I ask myself.
I did not do a thing
to deserve such a splendid gift.
you're an angel handed to me.
in bundles of joy that still amazes me.
Weekend once more
It's weekend once more... Sounds like yesterday once more huh?
It has been quite a week here in Dubai. The temperature has been steadily rising. The driver told me that the temperature at 2pm was about 47C. I was like "what?". Good thing I did not go out. Our "very very very very much loved secretary" was out so I had to sit at the reception area. It was okay. Thank goodness for remote desktop connection. I was still able to go through my whole workday without too much of a backlog.
It was just very very bad with the new software that I am using. :( It's too bad that the person who actually thought of buying this should be shot, or better yet let them use it so they can see what I mean.
Tomorrow I will be going to church. And hopefully be able to chat with my li'l girl before going hitting the sack for another Friday.
I also hope that we will get our salary come Saturday. It was not credited until today. :(
Weekend, rest.
It has been quite a week here in Dubai. The temperature has been steadily rising. The driver told me that the temperature at 2pm was about 47C. I was like "what?". Good thing I did not go out. Our "very very very very much loved secretary" was out so I had to sit at the reception area. It was okay. Thank goodness for remote desktop connection. I was still able to go through my whole workday without too much of a backlog.
It was just very very bad with the new software that I am using. :( It's too bad that the person who actually thought of buying this should be shot, or better yet let them use it so they can see what I mean.
Tomorrow I will be going to church. And hopefully be able to chat with my li'l girl before going hitting the sack for another Friday.
I also hope that we will get our salary come Saturday. It was not credited until today. :(
Weekend, rest.
