Three Years

Three years ago I was offered a job outside the country. It was something that I had to think about. I wanted to get out of the country, I wanted a new environment. I knew then that it was a very difficult decision to make. But in a way it was also something that I had to make, something that I had to do.


One year, two, three... That was the time that I had to serve. Oh, okay I seem to be making it like a prison sentence. At first, it actually is something like that. I did not like what I was doing, I had no friends to talk to, I miss my family terribly, I missed my daughter so much.


Three years is all it takes. Close out my life here and then start anew with the one that is real. It will not be hard. That was my motto. That was the plan. I prayed for it. It was all in place. Until one day when I came back from vacation, everything seemed changed. Everything seemed different.


I had a lot to do. I had responsibilities. Now almost three years in Dubai, am I ready to go home? Am I gonna keep the promise I did to Andy and Papa? Or will I fail them altogether?  But what does failing them means? 

Dalangin ng Isang ina

Tuwing iniisip ko na malapit na ang Oktubre
Mas lalo ako nasasabik.
Mas tumitindi ang kaba
Pero sa kabila nun
Alam ko na pagbalik ko
Andyan ka na naghihintay sa akin
Buong puso
Bukas ang mga kamay
At sasalubungin mo ako
ng matatamis mong mga ngiti.

Ang takot na nasa dibdib ko
Di ko mapaliwanag.
Pero alam ko higit sa anu pa man
Kapag nagdesisyon akong
Bumalik at makasama ka
Isang malaking hakbang yun
Para sa ating dalawa.

Hayaan mo anak
Alam kong di magiging madali
Pero alam ko rin na
Di tayo magsisisi sa huli.

Mahal na mahal kita.
Alam mong gagawin ko ang lahat
Para makita kang masaya at maayos.

Andy Time: Testing the water

[Andy time]


A: Mommy, uuwi ka na ba pag natapos ang school ko?
M: Ang tagal pa nun! It will take many many years before you finish your schooling! (Mommy testing the waters)
A: Hmmm... Bakit?
M: Maybe you can come and visit mommy here.
A: No.


Toink!

Long Time and then some

It's been such a long time since I have written here.
I promised myself to update this site and yet, what, promises are made to be broken, eh?
Today, I will try to update this site more often... It's Andy and my site and very soon Andy might want to write here as well.. wouldn't that be cool?
She's in school now. She's in Nursery. Her school's name is St. Mary's Initial Learning Experience (SMILE).
She seems to enjoy it. And then she got a bit bored--- she wouldn't even complete her seatwork. Result, she only gets 50% done. I had to chide her to do good if she wants me to come home. Great bribe huh?
Anyway, it's Friday here. And every Friday I get to send her off to school. Today, she's sick though. So she had to go to her pediatrician. Well, I just have to stop worrying about her too much. I have to let it go. She'll be fine.

I miss you

It's been a week since I have last seen you. I miss you so much. You know how much I do. I really long for the day that we'll be together and I will be your mommy who'll be there whenever.  I don't regret leaving you. I needed it, we needed it. I think I will be a better mother that I had experienced how it is to be away from you...

Forever

It seems forever since I last made an entry here.
I am looking forward to October.
There are things that I cannot control at the office.
I am (still) happy.
Because I know I am okay.

Vacation 2011

Kikimbing

This was taken last night when I was in Davao.

Andy really enjoyed it. So did I!

Happy New Year!

I wasn't able to greet people this year on this site... I have been really busy with nothing.
I am going home come end of January. I can't wait. I want to spend time with Andy once more!
There will be a lot of things to accomplish... I'll update you all here.

Less than 4 weeks. Thank you Lord!