Hector and Tetet's Wedding

January 27, 2007. It was such a beautiful, sunny Saturday.

Today marks a new day of the the lives of Hector (as i like calling him!) and Tetet. They're tying the knot, finally!

I was hoping, so was tetet that my honey could be here for this such beautiful occasion.

I was kinda apprehensive to attend actually, had I not been asked to read during the mass, I won't go actually. Why you ask, for sure, I'd be out of place for my hun aint there beside me. Well, I know throms (the guy in one of the pictures!), and I am pretty sure he won't leave me. But aside from him I practically do not know anyone else. ;) Surprise surprise! Caerel, Anton's GF (anton is hector's friend from way back) was there...

I have never been happier to see a familiar face. I hitched a ride with them going to the reception (took the taxi from home) and then we were totally inseparable from that point on.. Kwentuhan was fun. Reminiscing the good ol' high school days was totally cool... and getting news from friends who I have lost contact with.

To Hector and Tetet, Congratulations and Best Wishes... May the Lord God bless you and your family... and babies? I hope you have many!

Of friends and foes

Friends come and friends go... so do Foes.

It dawned on me last night that, I have only told a few people of my current condition (read previous blog entry). I think it comes with the fact that I am not yet married and that my hun isn't around, physically at this point in my life but I know he's always there keeping us close to his heart.

I only keep a handful of really close friends. I do not even consider some college friends as people whom I can really really call unto when I need them compared to two of my high school friends. That's Haezel and Chantal... When I learned of my condition, they were one of the few people I told the news to. Chantal, being her usual self, told me gaga... and yet, lovingly asked how I am doing. She even gave me some advise! ha! It sounds funny, but she did! Haezel on the other hand , well, I did not quite expect that kind of reaction from her. She spank me on the head.. asked me what I was thinking and why I did what I did.. and after settling down, well, I think she's happy too. Sad maybe that she's leaving for Dubai and won't be able to see me through the Nine months... well, she'll be updated through pictures!
Raissa, my new found friend inside the office... Aside from my hun, she was the first friend I
informed of the happy news... I thank her for being there, she asked me if I were happy..

Honestly, at that point, I was a bit nervous, if that's the right word for it. Nervous because I will be alone (in a way) facing all of this. Nervous, for my hun will be miles and miles away from me... He wouldn't be there to hold me when I have a lot of questions...And maybe nervous for what I'll be going through is something really really new to me. But I think, excited too.. for this is a blessing. :D

I have another friend whom I am contemplating on giving the news to... And then all of a sudden on Monday, I received a text message from him... yes, he's a guy friend. And when I got to read the message I was so disappointed. It would have been something if he showed he supported my situation, but to openly tell me that, well, that is another matter. I was hurt because I did not expect that from him. Well I guess there will be like that from now on.. I would not know when we'll be talking to each other again but I think I'll have to live with it and let the friendship i dunno, end just like that... I still have not decided.

Heartbeat

After almost a week of going through a hard time of asking for an appointment with my OB-Gyn I was finally able to get through yesterday.

I am pregnant.

Now to recount my first OB trip... oh wait, how did i know, the usual pregnancy test. Doc says its 98-100% reliable... so i thought I really must be. I have been delayed for 2 months now... and the last straw that really made me check, was when my ma and I went to the market and everything went.... omg! I think I'm going to faint... so there. I bought a pregnancy test kit and tested morning after. And, as they say, the rest is history.

Now, back to the OB visit. My Ma and I (I asked her to come with me) went to Quirino Doctors, at last, Dr. Darleen San Jose- Estuart is there to see patients. Thank you Lord, there is a reprieve in the delivery of babies.. ;)

Ha! So there, I arrived about 3PM and I have never seen too many pregnant women in one room. Hahaha... I wonder? It's an OB Gynecology clinic... hahaha... Saw different pregnant women, there were fat ones, kinda skinny ones, a very very pregnant one... a lady who I think recently just gave birth... Oh... too many pregnant woen around... huhuh... And suddenly I missed my honey... I wish he was there to hold my hand while waiting for the doc.

Then came mama nearly 4pm... We still have to wait about 30 minutes for our turn... The secretary weighed me at about 113lbs Before I went in the doctor's office (inner doc's office).

Maybe it was usual doc's routine to ask questions... was it my first... (damn of course it's my first, I wouldn't be this nervous if it were not!), My age, family medical history and stuff.. Then the OB aske dmy about my last period. She then told me the happy news, that I'm expected to give birth around Aug 1, 2007 That should be the last day of the whole term but 3 weeks before that I may deliver. phew!

Doc then asked me to lie on a small examination table in order to hear the heartbeat of the baby... oh, so you can actually hear it, eh? So there I lay my head down, and opened my pants, just above the garter of my panties, Got her apparatus, applied some gel on it and pointed to me where the baby should be at this time... then of all the miracles I heard, a strong beating of the heart, and the doc lovingly said there... that's the baby.

Oh gosh... Heartbeat. I have never been so happy to hear heartbeats before... if only Bow's there to hear it. I'll try to record it next time.. :D

Colds, Montreal and Loneliness

It has been a sad different week. I already told ma, my sister, my staff and my boss. It's kinda exhilarating in a way to be out in the open (in a way). I don't have to guard my thoughts, guard the way I dress, lest people will notice. Now, what the heck! I have asked or talked to the people who mattered to me now.

I caught the colds last week. I was about to go the doctor on Wednesday when, boom! aaay! Facial ache accomanied by fever I think, and earache and splitting headache... huhuhuh... that was something.. And it left me with no choice but to talk to a doctor, any doctor... although I asked one of the head, whom I am more comfortable with. I still have to talk to the boss at this point remember?

On Friday here, around early evening, hun sent me a text message telling me that they have arrived in Montreal and that the apartment was really kinda small. :( Sad, but happy that they have arrived there. Of course, sad that I am in a way all alone (I have my family and friends here, and work!) but to be alone emotionally, I would have loved it when he's here to take care of me. Happy because all the time we were together we have been waiting for the day when he will really really go to canada and begin working there.

My nights have been quite cold and lonely.. I have been alone in the room for about 4 weeks now. :( it is sad, but I know in time he will be back... We'll again be together and start our very own family.

We were already able to talk to one another last Sunday lunch time and when he called in the evening. I was so glad when I heard his voice on the opposite side of the line...He's sick, as usual. cough. :( He'll get used to it though.. haaay....

Nasa Toronto na siya

They have arrived in Toronto safe and sound... I got a text message telling me all's well with them and that I have to send him peso load for his Smart! hehehe! Ain't this supposed to be the other way around?

I do miss him.. terribly.

Hon, if you get to read this... I miss you and I love you so much!

Waiting...

And the waiting officially begins...

Jan 18, 2007: Very early, around 5AM hon sent me a txt message telling me they're on their way to QC from Bulacan to get their luggage en route to NAIA. They're supposed to leave about 12noon Philippine time.

One call around 10am, they are at the airport already... talked a little, he was very uneasy should i say? Or was it nervousness in his voice I hear... Then tito Fred and I talked for a while... asked questions here and there..."Kamusta? Kamusta ang Bahay, the usual I think...Then back to honey... He's having his usual stomach problems... from lack of sleep and proper meal earlier... ha! where is the gastripack when you need it?! hehehe... I asked him to rest for a while since flight is still about 12 noon.

Another call came in about 11AM. This time, I can feel tears welling at the back of my eyes. It hurts not to be able to get it out (I am inside the office by the way).. so I have to hold it back. Talked to him, asked him to take good care of himself... as usual, he's in his bad mood, bad attitude when I remind him that... he's all grown up you know, and does not want to be reminded that... I think its really nagging to him when I do that. Should I be worried or what?

12nn. A text came, they have boarded... ANd that he'll miss me and he loves me so much! *Of course theres the reply of me loving him back and will be missing him too!*

And I wait... and wait...

3:30PM- they have arrived in Hong Kong. They are due to fly in a few hours... exchanged a couple of texts (literally a couple!) and then... Again...

The agony of Waiting (again).

It must be the weather

Was absent yesterday. I was down with a bad case of sinusitis... i haven't been that sick for so long. To top that, I was almost alone at home.. Well, honey's mama (read: lola) was there to cook and actually pseudo-take care of me... but aside from that, I am all alone...Señorita by the way was there too... the ever cutie shitzu-eskimo dog left inside the house... And bully (the lovely pit bull), fifi (the sweet doberman, doberdog.. hehe), maxxene and kenshin (sweet and noisy labs).

So there, I had a bad case of colds, headache, facial ache and ear ache! all that in one day! ANd to think, I was supposed to see the doctor and was not able to because the doc was really busy, and that was not for the colds, by the way!

Just a recap of my day yesterday...

Today, I was able to speak to my hun via YM.. I missed him so much... (I have been doing that since jan. 1.. haaay... it's double the miss now! ;) ;)

The man that he is...

taken on our hiking trip some 5 years ago... *Dinner date, December 2006


How time flies... has it really been six years? Six years of joy, hurt, sweet nothings and loving...
Yep! It has been... the basic difference? He's on his way to Canada and I'll be left here in Davao awaiting his return.

It was not a very pleasant six years at all.. not all joy and bliss... In fact there were time when we were on the verge of really separating. actually we did separate for a couple, 3? four times? But I stood my ground, and I knew it was a passing thing... I held on to what I knew was our promise to each one. And now, we have come this far.

I am not perfect.. far from it. I get jealous. Really, I do. I hate it when he has to go out at night and has to go with his friends.. especially whenever there are girl friends around... pisses me off! But I have to let him.. lest he scolds me that I am over reacting.

Now, it's a different story, I have to trust him with all my heart... he has to be trusted or this jealous rage inside me will implode any moment! And I wouldn't want that to happen. I have myself to protect... I have a relationship to protect... even for two years.

Yes, we'll be separated physically for two years. I'll be left in Davao to fend for myself while he in Canada to work his a$% off for our future. Thus the trust.

He may have all the faults, a lot will tell me that but they aren't in the relationship that we are in.

I pray to God we get through this... and be forever again in another 2 years.


**While writing, Bowits is in Bulacan, stopping over to his relatives before his actual flight to Canada on Jan. 18, 2007